Category Archives: Bar Cookies

Caramel- Butterscotch’s Little Sister

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Or maybe little brother… or cousin… or third cousin four times removed. Or who knows; maybe it’s a step child. That wicked red headed one. But I know that for me caramel has never ranked as high on the family list of sweets. Mind you, that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. Ahem… hello, you DO recall whose blog you’re on don’t you?  Janet… liver hating, sweet loving, the richer and creamier the better silly kinda needs massive therapy blog writer. Yep, that’s me!

I love caramel. Just not as much as I love butterscotch. But please… don’t tell either of them where I rank them. I don’t want to be responsible for gooey hurt feelings. There is a time and a place for both. Butterscotch gets my love on sundaes and in schnapps (Oh.My.God. Is that stuff awesome or what?! Liquid “I’m gonna get you tipsy” butterscotch candy) and as a great add in to coffee. Yes, I know; caramel is the normal add in flavor for coffee but if you’ve never tried butterscotch in coffee, you have to try it. Or just buy some, decide you don’t like it and then send it to me. Caramel is for the guts of candy bars that you freeze and then nibble off layer by layer. It’s also for Dulce De leche which is meant to be eaten by the spoonful. Really; it is. It’s the law. Would I lie to you? It’s also for the following recipe. Along with the dulce de leche. I am currently browsing through the Southern Living 1001 Ways To Cook Southern cookbook and among the 3 million four hundred thousand pages I have folded down, one kept saying “try me… NOW. Do NOT wait, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars” (if anyone wants to send me that two hundred dollars, I’m not gonna argue 😛 ). So I listened. Cause I’m cool like that. When books talk to me, I listen. After I stop cowering in the closet cause a book just talked to me.

So try this. Caramel… more caramel. All tucked into a thick brown sugary square… or circle. Or an octagon if that’s what makes you happy.

Death By Caramel Squares

  • 3 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
  • 2 cups unsalted butter, softened (yes, 2 cups)
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract (optional; my addition)
  • 4 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 cup regular uncooked oats
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 6 regular sized Snickers bars, chopped
  • 1 14 ounce can dulce de leche
  1. Preheat your oven to 325. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil (I used the non stick kind) and spray with cooking spray.
  2. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Mix well.
  3. In another bowl, combine the flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add to the butter mixture, stirring just until blended. Fold in the chopped candy.
  4. Spread batter in the lined pan. It’s quite thick so you will probably have to pat it down some. I used the tips of my dampened fingers so that I didn’t get covered in goop.
  5. Spoon dollops of the dulce de leche onto the top of the batter. Use a knife to swirl it into the batter. Eat some because again… it’s the law. I swear it is!
  6. Bake for an hour and 20 minutes. The recipe said an hour and five minutes but in my oven, it was still very jiggly in the center. Your oven may vary so check after an hour.
  7. Cool in the pan on a wire rack. This is gonna take a while cause these bad boys are thick! Use the foil to lift the brownies out and cut into squares. Or you could do that octagon thing  again. Just sayin’.
  8. These are very chewy which I liked and very thick; also liked. But next time I think I will add something to it… maybe a little maple flavor. It just needs that little something extra.

Ben Needs This Dessert Cause His Parents Are Mean

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Can't you just taste that oozing caramel now?

My son Joshie wanted me to read to him the other night. He brought out a book that we’ve had since my older kids were little. It’s called “Ben Finds A Friend.

This has got to be the most depressing children’s book ever written. Poor Ben is a lonely little boy who just wants a pet but the parents from Hell have excuses for every pet suggestion he brings to them. A dog? Nope; too messy and tears up the furniture (Hello? Obedience training anyone?). A cat? C’mon dad, how about a soft tiny purring kitty? No way Ben they scratch and bite and steal food from the refrigerator (Ummm… if that cat opens the fridge and gets food, teach the son of a biscuit to COOK darn it! You can make a mint! Frodo, the cooking kitty!) The picture then shows poor Ben walking off, looking totally dejected, shoulders slumped. I wanted to reach in there and give the kid a hug (and buy him a kitty).

So then he goes back to mom and asks for a Monkey. Hey, I want a Monkey too; I can understand the desire! I want a Monkey that I can name Stash and teach him to stand on a street corner to make money for me. But noooooo, mom says no to a Monkey too because they are dirty and messy and have fleas. The Evil Wench! So it was back to dad and asking for a parrot. Again; no. Even though Ben explained that they didn’t do any bad things or have any of the above mentioned bad habits, it was nil, nada, zilch on a fine feathered friend  cause dads response was that they screech and squawk and say terrible things. Ummm… they will only say terrible things if you TEACH them terrible things. Though in Bens defense, the parrot may end up saying “Mom and dad are evil parents who don’t let me know the joy and responsibility of raising a pet”. As for screeching, two words; CAGE COVER.

Then he wanted a Hamster. A small teenieeeee tinyyyyy Hamster that he could keep in his room and take care of. But Mommy Dearest said she doesn’t like hamsters because they sleep all day ( sounds like a good day to ME plus  mom, you cretin, the kid isn’t asking YOU to love on it and give it a name. HE wants it… duhhhh.) So he goes to his room where we find out he is sick and when the doctor (who does house calls) arrives, doc says Ben has a bug. The boy gets excited because he assumes it came to be a pet for him. Then he begins to daydream about having a pet…ANY PET *sobs for poor Ben*

So how does this ultimately end as you’re trying as a reader to figure out how to call fictional CPS for emotional neglect? The kid sees a Pigeon on his windowsill and asks mom for some bread crumbs for it. A PIGEON!  Poor little lonely Ben, who has no parental interaction,  has to settle for a wild smelly mite and vermin carrying Pigeon for a pet. WAHHHH!!!!!

Ben needs chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And since this book was written before sweet and salty caramel was around written and Ben is now grown (and needing massive amounts of therapy thanks to his parents) and probably doesn’t get new food treats in the asylum, I made a treat in Bens honor. This is a buttery shortbread crust covered in a sweet/salty sea salt homemade caramel that has been given a nice shot of rum (as was the creator of the recipe because I was so damn depressed over Ben) and then smothered in a thick chocolate ganache. This isn’t HARD to make but the caramel is a precise recipe and takes time. This also has to chill for hours so you need to pre-plan when you want to make this. But oh my; it’s worth it. Sweet, salty, caramelly (yes that is now a word. I said so.) , chocolatey and buttery with a nice crumbly crust. This makes extra caramel. Just store it in a covered container in the fridge and use it for anything you’d use caramel for…like eating it straight from the spoon.

Rum Infused Salted  Caramel/Chocolate Wedges

On A Buttery Shortbread Crust

  • SHORTBREAD CRUST-
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • splash of vanilla extract
  • HOMEMADE CARAMEL-
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
  • 2 cups heavy cream minus two tablespoons
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons rum
  • CHOCOLATE GANACHE-
  • 1/2 cup semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • more sea salt for sprinkling
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. To make the crust, combine ingredients in a medium bowl. Mix until it is well blended and crumbly. Press down into a foil lined and greased 9 inch pie pan (you can also use a 8 or 9 inch square pan but I like the look of the wedges better). Bake at 350 until lightly browned around the edges, about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  3. For the caramel- While the crust is cooking (don’t forget about it and burn it; I’ve done that lol) melt the 1/2 cup butter in a large saucepan. Add the sugar and sea salt and cook over medium high heat, stirring very often, until the mixture is a deep golden brown, anywhere from 7 to 12 or so minutes. The darker you get it (before you burn it lol) the more intense the caramel flavor is so if you want milder don’t cook as long).
  4. Add your vinegar and rum to your cream and add the mixture to the pan of sugar (do NOT stir). Cover the pan and let cook over medium low heat without stirring until most of the caramel bits dissolve, about 8 minutes or so.
  5. Uncover and whisk until sauce is slightly thick, deep brown and reduced to about 2 1/2 cups, stirring often. If there are still any caramel bits that haven’t dissolved, just fish them out with a slotted spoon. Then eat them; they are yummy!
  6. Let cool for about ten minutes then pour over the shortbread crust. Cover with foil and refrigerate for about an hour.
  7. FOR THE GANACHE-
  8. In a microwavable bowl, mix the chocolate chips and heavy cream. Melt at half power, stirring often, until mixture is smooth and thoroughly combined.  Let cool for about 3 minutes (no longer or it will firm up and become unspreadable and you’ll have to reheat it )
  9. Carefully pour over the caramel mixture and smooth. Sprinkle with more sea salt. Let this cool until the caramel has firmed up. This can take about 4 to 5 hours so plan ahead.
  10. Cut into wedges and serve with whipped cream (and maybe some of the extra caramel sauce if you’re really into excess.

This Has Not A Darn Thing To Do With The Recipe :-P

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These are thick & fudgy & oh so chewy with frosting that isn't too sweet. Oh my....

 

But it’s a funny story and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I am not in possession of working brain cells today and I couldn’t think of a story that would segue into Malted Milk Ball Brownies easily 😛 .

I wrote this years back. Yes… it’s true 😀

Who needs fillings? I have glue!

Last night I was, well, rather buzzed. Ok ok I was pretty well blitzed. Well, I have some herbal supplement drops I take every day. At about 9pm, I drunkenly realized I hadn’t taken then yet. In a fit of alcohol induced responsibility to my body, I went to go take them.

Just like most people, I can walk through my home in the dark with no problem. I know the path; I do it often. So when I went to get the drops out of my purse, I didn’t bother with a light. I grabbed my purse off the bathroom floor and got the drops out by feel. Or so I thought. I shook the bottle feeling like such a good girl that I was remembering to take them, hiccuped a few times, then experimentally shook the bottle. Then shook it again because I was SURE I had had more than that in there.

But, being the drunken fool that I was, I just assumed I had used more than I thought so I opened the bottle and tipped it up over my mouth. Not much was coming out so I squeezed harder… then harder. Suddenly some spark ignited in a few sober cells in my brain and I turned on the light and looked at the bottle. I had just squirted a half a bottle of Nail Glue (Super Glue) in my mouth.

“OMG… ACKKKKK… I’m gonna glue my tongue to my teeth!!!”, I screamed as I turned the water as hot as it would go after flinging the culprit glue behind me. I started gulping hot water trying to dissolve the glue before it glued my wiggly thingy in my throat to my tongue or something. Yes, I know it’s called a Uvula but wiggly thingy is more fun. I grabbed my toothbrush and practically killed myself trying to brush my Esophagus and stomach lining. Screw my glue coated teeth. I had visions of my throat sticking to itself and dying on my bathroom floor with my uvula stuck to my tongue. I had no intention of the legacy I left my kids being a headline on the 11 o clock news saying “A local woman died tonight after she drank super glue and her wiggly thingy got attached to her esophagus and she choked to death.”

After I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to die of glue poisoning or a glued throat, I started laughing. Only in MY life could this happen. Never again will I look for ANYTHING when I’m buzzed.

My teeth feel funny. How do you get super glue off your teeth???

On that note, today I made brownies for you. Not just any brownies though; these are stuffed with chocolate chips and many many chunky pieces of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. then to add insult to high blood sugar injury, I added a thick creamy malted milk buttercream and garnished it with more Whoppers. Now unless you have the sugar tolerance of say… a five year old (I.E. could eat a full five pound bag of sugar with no problem and ask for more) cut these small. They are rich… they are sweet… they are darned awesome if I do say so myself. Enjoy! 🙂 These are loosely adapted from a Cooks Illustrated brownie recipe.

Malted Milk Ball Brownies

With

A Malted Milk Butter Cream Frosting

  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup chocolate flavored malted milk powder (find with the nestles quik and hot cocoa mixes and such)
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
  • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
  • 1/2 stick (1/4 cup) melted butter
  • 2/3 cup oil
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (am I the only one who calls it “all porpoise flour? Ummm…don’t answer that)
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips (use good quality ones)
  • 2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely crushed (leave the chunks decent sized; you want to bite into the brownies and get some nice flavor from the chunks of candy :-)  )
  • FOR THE FROSTING- (we’re making this easy {but still delicious} today)
  • 1 can butter cream frosting
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 2/3 cups malted milk powder
  • malted milk balls for garnish
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
  3. Whisk together the cocoa, malted milk powder and boiling water.
  4. Add the unsweetened chocolate and whisk well until the chocolate is melted.
  5. Whisk in the melted butter and oil then the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla. Whisk in the sugar. Stir in the flour and salt.
  6. Fold in the chocolate chips and crushed malted milk balls.
  7. Bake at 350 until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the middle (make sure you’re not hitting a chip) comes out mostly clean. A little bit of loose crumbs is fine but it’s not done if it comes out gooey and/or liquidy. They took 45 minutes in my oven.
  8. For the frosting, mix all the frosting ingredients together and beat well for 2 to 3 minutes to make sure the malted milk powder is dissolved. this is a fairly thin frosting so if you want it thicker, make it while the brownies are cooking or cooling and refrigerate it to firm it up.
  9. Frost brownies and garnish with more malted milk balls.

Not the fanciest decorating job but I had a two year old who wanted to do it 😀

Have I Mentioned That I love Berries And Chocolate?

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I love them separately, I love them together. I do so love them on a plane, I would happily chow down on them on a train. I would eat them with a goat (but he better not try to get any) I would eat them near a moat. I will so eat them sam I am. I would eat them in a can. Ok, maybe not that last part but my rhyming skills are rusty.

Ok, now that my Dr. Seuss moment is over, I really do love berries. And chocolate. And berries and chocolate together. I look forward to Spring/Summer every year for one reason only since I hate the heat. I can get berries inexpensively (and corn on the cob but that’s another story.)

I wanted to make something with fruit for today (Memorial Day) but I just wasn’t up to something that took a lot of work or, since I wanted something my two year old (and grandkids) could eat, something that was too messy.

I decided to make a bar cookie with fresh Strawberries. Then the wonderful thought occurred to me to use chocolate too because I mean really, is there anything better than a chocolate covered strawberry? Except maybe chocolate and raspberries.

I ended up with a mildly sweet shortbread style crust with a juicy creamy chocolate covered strawberry center topped by crumbs and more chocolate. While my recipe is fairly different, I want to give a shout out to the lovely hostess of  Can You Stay For Dinner for the inspiration.

So if you want a nice bar cookie to take with to a BBQ tonight, this one will work for you. It would also be great as a weeknight (or weekend) dessert for your family or the best idea of all, just as one of those go hide in the closet and whimper pitifully if anyone comes near and tries to take them from you style sweets.

Enjoy!! Have a great Memorial Day!

CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRY BARS

  • CRUST-
  • 1 cup softened butter (2 sticks)
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2/3 cup powdered sugar
  • FILLING-
  • 1 lb container fresh strawberries, capped and thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup strawberry preserves (I actually ended up using a 1/4 cup strawberry and a 1/4 cup Raspberry but you can use what you like)
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 12 ounce bag chocolate chips
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Lightly grease a 13×9 inch pan.
  3. Combine flour, butter and powdered sugar until you have pea sized crumbs.
  4. Pat 2 cups of the crumb mixture into the bottom of the greased pan. Set the rest aside.
  5. Bake the crust for ten minutes or until a very light golden brown around the edges.
  6. Meanwhile, gently fold your sliced strawberries together with the preserves.
  7. In a small bowl, mix half the bag of chocolate chips with the sweetened condensed milk and microwave on high in 30 seconds increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.
  8. Carefully spread the strawberry mixture on top of the hot crust. Then pour the chocolate/milk mix on top of the berries and spread. Sprinkle that with the reserved crumbs and the other half of the bag of chocolate chips.
  9. Bake at 350 for about 30 to 35 minutes or until the center is set.
  10. Let cool, preferably in the fridge for a couple of hours. But just letting it cool and attacking it works too.

 

Memories Are Made Of….Candy

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Back when I was a kid when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth and we all wore Saber Tooth Tiger skins for clothing I used to love to go to the store and buy candy. Lots and lots of candy. It was fairly inexpensive then (we are so NOT getting into the “it’s all relative because people made less money” theory) and there were varieties that are either extinct (like those Saber Tooth Tigers) now or very difficult to find unless one wants to spend 3k online for a 5 ounce box of candy. One of the ones that I loved then and still adore that has made a comeback in recent years is Lemonheads. Little yellow balls of sugar that had a wonderful sweet tart flavor. Not like what they call sour candy today where if you eat it, you literally burn off your taste buds. I prefer to save my taste bud burning for curry thank you very much.

There was a method for eating Lemonheads. You had to nibble off the sour waxy outside coating and then suck on the little sugar ball inside until it was gone. My husband of course, who also has fond memories of Lemonheads, didn’t do this. He needs to be flogged. With a Fifth Avenue bar (which was my dads favorite and which he would eat 6 in a row of even after being diagnosed with Diabetes lol) or a Nerd Rope. I’m pretty sure he broke multiple laws when he just tossed them in his mouth and chewed. But then this is the same man who is shameful enough to eat a Ho-Ho by… *GASP*… biting into it, not eating off all of the outside coating, unrolling it, licking off the filling then eating the cake. I have said before, I love him in spite of his obvious flaws, but he makes it hard at times like that.

That sweet tart flavor of Lemonheads is always something I am trying to recreate but not in candy form because I am old (see Saber Tooth Tiger reference above) and my poor aged teeth can’t handle it. I will get into a “take care of your teeth” lecture at a later date. I originally got this recipe from a Yahoo group back in 2003. I’ve seen it many places since then claiming to be theirs, but rest assured, it isn’t. This has been around for quite awhile.  But being me, I had to change it. I said once that I think there is a chromosome that lets one follow recipes (or rules in general) and I am missing it.  I think it turned out awesome and the taste is reminiscent of those much loved candies. So here you go. Enjoy. But promise me that you’ll go floss after you eat half a pan of these.

Creamy Lemon Crumb Squares

  1. 1 1/3 cup all purpose flour
  2. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  3. 1 teaspoon baking powder
  4. 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, softened
  5. 1 cup brown sugar
  6. 1 cup oats
  7. 2 cans sweetened condensed milk
  8. 1/2 cup lemon juice
  9. 1/2 cup lime juice
  10. zest of one lemon
  11. zest of one lime
  12. 1 teaspoon of lemon extract
  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Mix butter and sugar until well combined.
  • Mix together flour, salt and baking powder
  • Add oats and flour mixture to the butter/sugar mixture.
  • Press half of the crumbs (it actually took me a bit more because I used a 13×9 inch pan) onto the bottom of a 13×9 inch pan.
  • Mix together the sweetened condensed milk, lemon and lime juices, lemon and lime zest and lemon extract. Spread onto the oatmeal crust. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs evenly over the lemon filling.
  • Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool for about 30 minutes then cut into squares but don’t take them out of the pan yet. They will dissolve into a pile of goo. Trust me. 😛 Put them in the fridge overnight THEN take them out of the pan. They will come out very easily if you do that.
  • Eat half a dozen. Floss. Eat more. Get out the Anbesol.

*Gives you the “mom look”* Have you flossed yet?

Cimmaminaminaminamin

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I have often wondered how, with me as their mother, any of my kids made it past preschool age with any decent language skills. I was one of those parents who loved the way my kids pronounced words and couldn’t bring myself to correct them and ruin the cuteness. In my defense I didn’t talk baby talk to them. I was the type that would be holding my newborn infant and talking politics or Shakespeare because really there are just so many times you can look at your baby and coo “you’re so adorable… you look just like me don’t you… don’t you?” or “Oh. My. God. You have your fathers bowel habits don’t you? Could you please stop now?” I  just loved hearing it.

Like Cimmamin for cinnamon. When my sixteen year old and fourteen year old reached puberty, I finally broke down and told them the correct pronunciation. Or when one of my older boys wanted picked up as a toddler, he would hold out his arms, give me a pleading look and say “hold you?”. He doesn’t do that anymore. I hope. I’ll have to ask his wife. Or  how the same child said “Yie” for yes until he was like 7.

Well, I had better get to the recipe now because when my kids see this post, it will most likely be the last one I ever write. Pray for me. 😀 These blondies are awesome. They are stuffed full of Cinnamon chips, sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and finally finished with a cinnamon drizzle. Overkill, you say? Nahhhhh….. not if you love Cimmamin. I mean Cinnamon.

CINNAMON BLONDIES

  1. 1/2 lb unsalted butter (2 sticks)
  2. 1 cup brown sugar
  3. 1 cup white sugar
  4. 2 large eggs
  5. 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  6. 2 2/3 cups all purpose flour
  7. 2 teaspoons baking powder
  8. 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  9. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  10. 1 package cinnamon chips (sold in same area as the chocolate chips)
  11. 1/3 cup powdered sugar
  12. 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  13. 2 to 4 tablespoons cream or milk ( amount will vary. You want enough to get a nice drizzling texture.)
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil, using enough that some hangs over the ends of the pan. Butter the foil or spray with nonstick cooking spray.
  • Beat the butter and sugars in a large bowl until thoroughly blended. Add the eggs and vanilla. Beat thoroughly.
  • Mix the flour, baking powder , one teaspoon cinnamon and salt in a small bowl. Add to the wet mixture. Using a wooden spoon (or some sort of spoon 😛 ) beat just until combined. Fold in the bag of cinnamon chips.
  • Spoon the batter (it will be very thick) into the foil lined pan. Spread evenly. I dampened my hands a bit and spread it that way. It won’t stick to you if your hands are damp. Just don’t get them soaked and turn your batter into soup.
  • Bake in the 350 degree oven for about 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool in the pan set on a wire rack until completely cool. If you try to cut them or lift them out of the pan before they are cool, they will break. Not that I’d ever do anything like that though. Someone told me this. Yeah, that’s it.
  • When cool, combine powdered sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. Add milk or cream until it is a drizzling consistency. Drizzle over cooled blondies.Cut into serving sized pieces… like 2 pieces. Don’t share. 😀
  • Unless you like when they kind of fall apart, you’re best off letting making these a day ahead, covering them well and refrigerating them before you try to cut them. They will firm up quite nicely then. Otherwise… it is goo city. TASTY goo city, but goo city nonetheless