Berries & Cream Chocolate Eclairs

Berries & Cream Chocolate Eclairs

Berries & Cream Chocolate Eclairs


I like to lie to myself sometimes. I lie and tell myself that yes, I really Do look good with a muffin top in my jeans and I am the only one around who can totally rock that style. Then I sob hysterically and smack myself around for lying.

I lie and tell myself that I will be just fine with only 3 hours of sleep because I stayed up late watching reruns of Cold Case (gosh, I love that show). Then I look in the mirror the next morning and wonder who had to have rubbed purplish black makeup all under my eyes while I slept and why my wrinkles suddenly look deeper. Then I sob hysterically and smack myself around for lying.

I lie and tell myself that rereading The Proud Breed by Celeste DeBlasis for the 15th time counts as deep reading because she has well researched information on the history of the state of California in it amidst all the love scenes and dramatic romance. Then I get sad when I realize how few functioning brain cells I have left because I continue to read books like that. Then I sob hysterically and smack myself around for lying.

I lie and say that eating Brachs Fruity Gummis for dinner is perfectly all right because I am 48 years old and am allowed to make decisions like that. Then I wake up the next morning and try to stuff myself into a pair of jeans that has magically grown too small. Then I sob hysterically and smack myself around for lying. And the cycle begins all over again.

I also lie when I eat desserts like this and tell myself that because it tastes so light, it MUST be low calorie and quite possibly as good for me as say, a lean chicken breast and a green salad. I lie and ignore the eggs, the cream, the chocolate, the more cream etc etc etc. Then I sob hysterically…and well, you get the point.

I lie a lot. But only to myself. Well, maybe also to my kids when I say that I ate all the chocolate when I know it’s just well hidden.

But sometimes lies are totally worth it. And if lying lets me eat one or eight of these eclairs, I’m all for a life lived lying. The pastry cream alone is worth a lie or two…or three…or fifty. Add in the puffy pasty outside and the thick sour cream chocolate icing and you’ll be willing to lie too. But I take no responsibility for your morals when it comes to chocolate. It’s all on you.

You will probably end up with leftover pastry cream and frosting. I promise… you won’t mind. Take it and layer it in parfait glasses and make somebody happy. It’s an easy way to let little kids enjoy this dessert without the mess of them trying to eat an eclair.

You know the drill. Get to cookin’.

Berries & Cream Chocolate Eclairs

  • Choux pastry-
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 cup water
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup flour
  • 4 eggs
  • Pastry Cream-
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 6 egg yolks, lightly beaten
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups heavy cream
  • 2 cups mixed berries (I used blueberries and blackberries. Use your favorite)
  • Chocolate Sour Cream Icing-
  • 1 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
  • 3/4 cup sour cream
  1. Make your pastry cream-
  2. In a medium (preferably non-stick) saucepan, combine the flour, salt and sugar. Stir in the milk until you have a smooth mixture. Cook over medium heat until it comes to a boil and thickens. Boil for one minute, stirring constantly.
  3. Beat a small amount of the hot milk mixture into the egg yolks to temper them, stirring it constantly. Then slowly pour the hot yolk mixture into the pot of the hot milk, stirring constantly.
  4. Cook over medium low heat until mixture again thickens up and coats the back of the spoon. Don’t let it come to a boil; it could separate.
  5. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla extract. Put into a bowl and cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until well chilled. Meanwhile, make your eclairs.
  6. For the eclairs-
  7. Preheat oven to 375 degrees and grease a large baking sheet.
  8. In the same medium saucepan from earlier (washed of course) heat the butter, salt and water over medium high heat until it comes to a boil. Pour in the flour all at once. Stir vigorously until mixture comes together and leaves the side of the pan in a ball.
  9. Add in the eggs, one by one, stirring well after each one, until smooth.
  10. Let the mixture cool slightly, then drop large spoonsful of it into the prepared pan, shaping into a roughly rounded rectangular shape.
  11. Bake at 375 for about 25 minutes or until the eclairs look lightly browned and dry. Take them out and cut a small slit in the side of each, then put them back into the oven and cook until golden brown, about 10 minutes. The cut helps the inside dry out.
  12. Take out and cool on the pan for about 15 minutes. Then cut them in half and carefully pull out the doughy insides of each one.
  13. Get your pastry cream out to finish preparing it. In a medium bowl, whip the heavy cream until it forms fairly stiff peaks. Stir about a quarter cup of it into the pastry cream to lighten it up, then fold in the rest of the cream until no white streaks remain.
  14. For the icing, melt your chocolate chips in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl in 30 second increments at 60% power until you can stir it freely and it is totally melted. Stir in the sour cream. If it thickens up too much to spread after the cold sour cream hits it, microwave it again, 15 seconds at a time, at 60% power, until it is smooth and glossy.
  15. To put the eclairs together-
  16. Fold the berries into the prepared pastry cream. Spoon about 1/3 of a cup of the pastry cream (more or less as desired but know if you use more, you will NOT be able to pick these bad boys up without a mess lol)  into the bottom half of each eclair then put the top half on top of that. Then spread each eclair with a good dollop of frosting.
  17. If not serving immediately, these need to be refrigerated but I strongly suggest NOT doing final prep on them until just about ready to serve as the eclairs will get soggy otherwise.

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Berry Mascarpone Cheesecake Bars

Mascarpone Berry Cheesecake Bars-001

I have decided to build an ark. Yep. An ark. Because I am pretty sure it is never ever going to stop raining here in my part of Kentucky. Usually here in mid May, we are hovering around the 80’s and already worrying about drought. This year however, it has rained almost every day for almost 2 weeks and the temp, while pleasant, is most certainly not hovering near the 80’s. Right now it’s 62.

But!!! Being me, I will not be filling my ark with two of every animal. Nope. Noah already did that and I don’t want to be a copycat. There will be animals of course. I’ll have monkeys. I like monkeys. And cats. And platypus for comic uses. But no elephants unless one of you wants to offer poop scooping services. And you’d darn well better believe I’m leaving mosquitoes behind. And centipedes. Those things ick me out. They have got to be the most prehistoric bug ever. If some director wanted to make a killer horror movie, he/she would only need to have a few scenes with centipedes crawling over the tied up heroine. *shivers*

So what will my ark be filled with? Duhhhh man, this is ME. What do YOU think? CANDY!! Twelve (why stop at two) of every kind of chocolate, lemonheads and of course my current craze, fruity gummi candy. I may also throw some cheetos on the ark just cause.

But, if you’re one of those weirdos who wants their fruit with no preservatives and actually *gasps* REAL, try these cheesecake bars. I based them off of the ubiquitous blackberry pie bars that you can find everywhere online, including right here on my blog . The pie bars originally came from The Pastry Queen cookbook. These cheesecake bars are based on that recipe. They use the same crust but the filling is changed up. These are quite yummy. The crust is sweet and buttery and the filling is creamy, tangy and sweet all at the same time. Plus- they have crumbs on top. Butter, fruit, mascarpone and crumbs. Need I say more? They couldn’t be any easier to make so you know the drill… get to cookin’!

Berry Mascarpone Cheesecake Bars

  • Crust and crumbs-
  • 3 cups flour
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, cold
  • Filling-
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 8 ounces mascarpone cheese, room temp
  • 8 ounces cream cheese, room temp
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
  •  1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 16 ounce bag frozen raspberries, thawed and drained well
  • 1 16 ounce bag frozen blackberries, thawed and drained well
  • Fresh berries to scatter on top (optional)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 13×9 inch pan then line it with parchment paper and butter the paper.
  2. Combine the 3 cups flour, 1 1/2 cups sugar and the salt in a large bowl. Using a pastry blender, cut in the cold butter until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Set aside 2 cups of the mixture. Press the rest into the bottom of the prepared pan.
  3. Bake crust at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes or until it is golden brown. Let rest while you prepare the filling.
  4. In a large bowl, using a hand mixer, together the mascarpone, cream cheese and sour cream. Add the sugar and beat just until well combined. Add the eggs, vanilla extract and almond extract and beat well. Mix in the flour. Gently fold in the drained berries.
  5. Spoon the mixture over the prepared crust. Sprinkle evenly with the crumbs that you held back earlier.
  6. Bake at 350 degrees about 55 minutes. You want the top to be firm but still to have a little jiggle in the center third of the bars, just like with any other cheesecake. The crumbly top will be a nice light golden brown. This will firm up as it cools so don’t overcook it.
  7. Let this cool for at LEAST an hour or so before cutting, but it’s preferable to cover it and let chill overnight. Use a sharp serrated knife that you’ve heated under hot water if you want to get clean cuts.

Chocolate Chip Double Berry Scones

Chocolate Chip Double Berry Scones 2-001

I can hear the outcry now… “MORE scones, lady!!!??? What the heck?? Can you do anything but scones or citrus pies or risotto!?”

Yes. yes, I can. But I wasn’t thinking the other day when I, on my Facebook page asked everyone which they would prefer- these scones or a quick bread I am trying. They chose the scones. Sooooo, being a woman of my word, I made them. Because honesty is just how I roll. Well, when I trip on our land, downhill quickly is also how I roll but I won’t blog about that. Though photos would probably be hilarious.

Moving on- been interesting in our household lately. My (very pregnant) daughter and her boys are with us through mid August while her husband goes through Basic Training and AIT (the on the job training for whatever you will be doing part of the military) so having 2 extra little ones (they are 3 and 6) has been chaotic to say the least. But I love knowing that when they move, they will, for a time at least, until it fades, have some memories of living with gramma and grampa. My daughter is due in a few weeks so I’ll have time with the baby (girl) for a while too 🙂

Plus, I’ve been having some health issues again. Not gonna go into detail here yet but I’ll cue you all in when things are more settled as to treatment. Until then, I’m just gonna continue to bake fattening things for all of you. Why? Cause I lurves you of course!!! Seriously. You have no idea what it means to me to know that people actually come here to my tiny blog, read my inane words and sometimes actually even make the foods I post.

These scones turned out delicious. I got the base recipe from The Pastry Queen Cookbook (you should have noticed by now that I love this cookbook) but changed it around. I just KNOW you’re surprised at that news. The only problem I had (which is my fault not the books) was shape. After I added the berries, I didn’t want to knead the dough, thus mushing the berries and toughening the dough, so I just reshaped it. BUT… I wasn’t able to get it back into a decent circle. so I tried making it more rectangular and cutting the scones from that. It turned out rather laughable 😛 These taste absolutely amazing… light, tender, flaky with a perfect mix of berries and chocolate and an orange glaze that just complements it all. But the way they look? Kinda wonky lol. But I promise you; you won’t care once you make some and taste them how they look. Also, you may have better luck shaping the dough than I did ANYWAY thus negating the issue. So don’t let looks fool you. Just look at the nicely glazed surface… see the pieces of berry peeking out alongside some chocolate. Then go bake. And I promise… no more scones…. for a few days anyway 😛

Chocolate Chip Double Berry Scones

  • 3 cups flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, COLD
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups heavy cream
  • zest from one large orange (about 1 to 2 tablespoons)
  • 1 cup semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup fresh raspberries
  • 1/2 cup fresh blackberries
  • Glaze-
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 teaspoons orange zest
  • 1/3 cup orange juice
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a buttered baking sheet with parchment paper then butter the paper.
  2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (as always, you can use these directions with a hand mixer), combine the dry ingredients on low speed, including the orange zest.
  3. Cut the butter into small pieces, then add to the flour. Beat on low speed until the butter is in small pea sized pieces. Then add in 1 cup of the cream and the vanilla and continue beating on low speed. You want the dough to come away from the sides of the bowl in a clean ball of dough, no floury remnants left behind. If it still looks dry, add more cream, about a tablespoon at a time until it forms the dough ball.
  4. Turn out onto a lightly floured board and gently knead the chocolate chips into it. You’re not trying to work the gluten up like in bread dough. That will make the scones tough.
  5. When the chocolate is incorporated, gently pan the dough out into a fairly thin circle or rectangle. Lay the berries down on one side of the dough, then fold the other side down over them. Press gently to seal.
  6. Reshape the dough (circle if you want wedges, rectangle if you want squares or diamonds) and cut into either 10 wedges or if making squares or diamonds (for the diamonds, cut into squares then cut them in half diagonally), cut into 12 pieces. Brush each with some of the leftover cream and sprinkle with sugar.
  7. Bake at 375 for about 15 minutes for wedges or 10 to 12 minutes for squares or diamonds. You want them a nice golden brown on top.
  8. For the glaze- in a small bowl, mix together the glaze ingredients. Whisk well to get rid of lumps.
  9. Pour the glaze out onto a shallow lipped plate.
  10. Dip the top of each scone into the glaze. Let dry for about ten minutes then dip each one again. Let dry a bit before serving though when they are warm and sticky they are awfully hard to resist 😀

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The Most Important Meal Of The Day

Blueberry Cornmeal Pancakes

Blueberry Cornmeal Pancakes


I always thought that was either dessert or cocktail time, but according to those in the know (who btw are the same ones we refer to when we say “they say”. Who ARE “they” anyway?! Should I be frightened? Wearing a tin foil hat? Anticipating uncomfortable probes and personal questions about my junk food habits?)

Sorry… had a “Ooo, shiny thing” moment there. Erhmmm, where was I? Oh yeah. According to those in the know, dessert really isn’t the most important meal of the day. Would you believe it’s not even considered a MEAL!? Obviously, “they” have never been in a room full of food bloggers. Supposedly, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Fuels you for the rest of the day, stops you from eating too much later, blah blah blah. I still want chocolate cake. I don’t LIKE breakfast. When I get up, I just want a cup of strong tea and Pachebels Canon In D to wake me up soothingly. Otherwise, it’s not pretty.

I DO however like breakfast for dinner. Back in the day, when I was a waitress at Shoneys (many many moons ago) I used to love their breakfast buffet. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night at 10pm, down went the salad bar and up went the breakfast bar. Sausage, eggs, bacon, pancakes, those sliced strawberries in that neon red probably carcinogenic glaze…ahhh, fatty heaven on a plate.

So every once in a great while, I make my family Breakfast For Dinner (yes, you must capitalize those words. It’s the law. THAT’S how big a deal it is). It involves copious amounts of greasy meat, enough syrup to put an elephant into a diabetic coma, eggs, biscuits and pancakes. Gotta. Have.Pancakes. Also the law. Honest.

But today I didn’t want regular pancakes. So I looked around and found one for Blueberry Cornmeal Pancakes in my King Arthur Whole grains Cookbook. But… it required whole wheat pastry flour. Not something I keep around and not something I was willing to buy just for this. So I looked around online and what I have here is an amalgamation of about 3 recipes. These are light and fluffy but with a slightly different texture due to the cornmeal and also with a nice blueberry tang as well as a touch of zip from the lemon zest. Add in a touch of cinnamon and some vanilla and the result was some darn yummy pancakes. So g’wan… get out the syrup.

Blueberry Cornmeal Pancakes

  • 1 1/4 cup flour
  • 3/4 cup cornmeal (NOT cornmeal mix, just plain cornmeal)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 3 eggs, separated
  • zest from one lemon
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon (more or less to taste)
  • 2 cups buttermilk
  • 3 tablespoons melted butter
  • 1 6 ounce container fresh blueberries, rinsed and gently patted dry
  1. In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients together.
  2. Beat the egg yolks until well mixed then add the buttermilk to them. Add the melted butter, vanilla and lemon zest.
  3. Pour the wet ingredients into the bowl of dry ingredients.
  4. Beat the egg whites until stiff then fold into the flour mixture.
  5. Gently fold in the blueberries.
  6. Cook the pancakes until they are golden brown on both sides on a hot griddle that you liberally greased with butter.


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Booberry! No, Lemon! No, Booberry! No, Lemon! MOMMA!!!!

Blueberry Lemon Yogurt Cake

This is what you hear when you ask your kids what kind of quick bread or pound cake you should make today. Our “boo” (Joshie to the uninitiated) wanted “booberry”). On a side note, my husband started calling Josh Boo when he was but a wee infant and the nick name just kind of stuck. Now he is Boo to practically everyone. We have half joked that when he gets to school age and the teacher asks his name, his response will be “Boo Aaron Brand!” and on his wedding day, the pastor will be asking his bride if she takes “Boo” to be her husband. Yes, we’re a strange strange family. I somehow doubt this comes as much of a surprise.

Moving on… Boo wanted “booberry cake”, Jordan (Zach was still asleep…at noon. Ahhh, the life of a teen on Summer vacation from school) wanted lemon. So what was a mother to do? I did NOT want to make one of each… too expensive and results in too much in the way of sweets in the house. Nor did I want to disappoint either boy.

So I remembered the recipe I had recently printed out for Ina Gartens Lemon Yogurt Cake. I’ve said before and I’m sure I’ll say again; you can never go wrong with Ina’s recipes. The woman is a cooking goddess. I have another one…or maybe two… might be three… of her recipes waiting to try after payday. With this recipe, I decided I could make both boys happy. I simply made the cake as written but adding about 2 cups of blueberries to the batter just before pouring it into the pan. On a side note, you ever make something while thinking to yourself what a cooking goddess/god YOU are only to find out after the fact that 350,000 have done the almost exact same thing before you did? Rather disheartening to ones cooking goddess dreams isn’t it? It’s like this big “well crap, I invented this darn it! I did, I did, I didddddd!!!” Sorry. I’m done now. 😛 Continue reading

Change Is Good??


 


 

 

Alternately titled “Eating My Words” 😛

More than once in past posts, I have mentioned various foods I don’t like. Liver, Hazelnuts, peanut butter (well, peanut butter is a sometimes thing in the occasional PB&J sandwich but not the great love that I know it is of many bloggers *suddenly hears a ghostly voice saying “Get me a beer and a sammich, bi***!”).

Most the these hates are come by honestly and not just the odd prejudice. Peanut butter is something I didn’t really even care for as a kid; even the smell bugged me. Liver…well, I was brought up when the mothers of our generation were still doing the “you will sit there at that table until you eat every bite of your food” so many was the time I found myself gagging down cold liver *shudders*. As for hazelnuts, I was blessed to be able to live in Germany for 3 years during the time my ex husband was stationed there and it seemed like every….single….piece….of….chocolate…was infused with either a hazelnut paste or just the flavor. I grew to hate hazelnuts lol.

This led to me not really able to get into the current Nutella craze. You know what I mean…. every day you can come across 25 blogs sporting nutella recipes 😛

But you know how your tastes change over time? Well, one fairly recent day, I was in the store and saw one of those nutella snack packs with the little breadsticks and bought it on a whim as my husband looked at me as though I had lost it because he knows I hate the stuff. What can I say? I was shopping while hungry. Liver probably would have looked ok. I opened it for a snack later that night and tentatively took a taste. And fell in nutella love. And then had myself voluntarily committed because I hate hazelnuts. Now, mind you, it’s not something I eat every day and it’s never going to be on my top ten list of favorites but I do enjoy the snack packs now and a periodic spoonful of nutella.

So today I had an idea. I was going to make raspberry muffins and then thought to myself “Self… you’re freaking boring” So I thought I’d add chocolate. Then myself said to…well, myself… “self, this is looking better but you’re still not quite there. Try again”. At that point, I slapped myself around a few times to shut me up because it was getting a bit freaky in my head what with myself talking to myself. After a few slaps, the idea to put nutella in the muffins came to mind. I blame the temporary insanity on the slaps…and copious amounts of caffeine…and genetics. Continue reading

Rumors Of My Death Yada Yada Yada

I’m fairly sure no one really missed me or even noticed that I hadn’t posted in a couple of weeks *sobs dejectedly and hides under the bed* but just in case…. I’M NOT DEAD!!!! Just thought I’d mention that in case you weren’t sure if I was dead or not when you saw a post from me.

*Scratches head, looks confuzzled, starts to speak and gives up*

Seriously though (who am I fooling with the word ‘seriously” in my blog? Please raise your hand so that we can all laugh at you), I AM back. Can I promise I won’t disappear again? No. I may get hit by a falling space satellite tomorrow. I could contract Typhoid. I could get eaten by an enraged chicken. You never know.

Or I could just need a break again and not be the type to try to get whining attention by writing a post saying “I must leave *insert heavy sigh* because life is too hard *insert more sighs* and I need to lie in my bed, watch bad reality shows and eat Cheetos *sigh more and look downtrodden* and then expect 500 people to comment telling me to go away and come back when I’m refreshed. I prefer to just go away, come back when I’m refreshed and giggle maniacally knowing that maybe one or two of you were wondering where I had gone. I DID need to go away though. For reasons that are probably obvious if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, I just needed some down time… physically, emotionally, mentally. But I’m back, I’m raring to go and I MISSED ALL OF YOU!!! *Spreads hugs, kisses and Twinkies everywhere*

And I like to think I have come back with a bang. Berries are getting a bit less expensive as the year progresses (meaning I didn’t have to sell the kids to buy some berries) and if you’ve read my blog, you know I love berries. During the Summer, I tend to exist on fresh blueberries and raspberries *”Violet! You’re turning Violet, Violet!!” (who knows what that’s from? Huh huh huh?)

So what I have for you today *uses my professional voice* is pretty darn yummy. It’s also pretty darn rich so plan to have this after a light meal, not, say, a pork roast or after going to a Chinese buffet (am I the only one who eats like a pig at those?) . I made a parfait that layers a rich white chocolate/almond pudding with fresh berries. I originally started out with a cake that had a white chocolate/almond filling and berries on top and it morphed into this lol.

This is fairly easy. You’re just making a pastry cream, lightening it up into a pudding type mixture, layering it with berries and there ya go… bobs your uncle (what the heck does that phrase MEAN anyway!?)

Berry & White Chocolate/Almond Parfait

  • 1 cup half and half or light cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • Scant 1/4 cup flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/3 cup almond paste, crumbled
  • 6 ounces good quality white chocolate
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 cup heavy cream, whipped
  • 3 cup assorted berries
  • 1/2 cup apricot preserves
  1. Pour half and half into a saucepan. Add vanilla extract and bring cream to a gentle simmer. Remove from the heat and set aside.
  2. In a medium bowl, combine the sugar and flour.
  3. Whisk in the eggs, then the warm half and half. Pour this back into the saucepan.
  4. Add the almond paste and whisk over medium heat until almond paste dissolves and pudding boils, about ten minutes.
  5. Remove from heat and add the white chocolate. Let sit for about 3 minutes, then stir until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth.
  6. Put plastic wrap over pudding and refrigerate until cold, about 3 hours.
  7. When cold, fold in the heavy cream. Cover again and chill for about another 3 hours.
  8. When ready to serve, put the preserves in a small bowl and microwave until melted, about 25 seconds.
  9. Fold gently into the berries in a medium bowl.
  10. Make a layer of the pudding, a layer of berries, another layer of pudding and top with more berries. Serve. Drool. Eat too much.

 


Blackberry, You Taste So Sweet

Blackberry Lemonade Muffins

It’s become a challenge to find a video that will go with each blog post. Why do I do it you ask? Because I’m extremely strange first of all and also because once I start something. I become rather obsessive. 😀 This my friends, is why you get a really lame video with almost every post now hehe. I like to think of it as my being your doorway to new musical tastes. Or insanity. Whichever. You know you liked The Carrot Song.

I have a thing for berries also. I wait every year for them to show up fresh at stores for a decent price and not having the taste of…well… nothing at all. Out of season berries really suck donkey toes. So when I can’t get them, I use frozen. It’s not quite the same but it’s pretty darn close and it keeps me from going into “Lack of Berry Convulsions”, otherwise knows as LOBC. Don’t ask me how you pronounce that. Just roll with it cause you love me.

I like muffins. So does
this lovely lady who happens to be one of my favoriteist (yes, that too is now a word cause I said so) people.

Muffins are yummy. They can have all sorts of bad for you things in them (not that my muffin today does; just saying) and yet you can get away with eating 12 of them because they’re muffins. Not cupcakes, not cookies, but muffins. And if you add fruit in them, you then earned the right to call yourself the healthiest cook ever. Or something. Do that rolling with me thing again. Continue reading

There’s A Reason I Do Certain Things

Triple Berry Muffins

Like using muffin/cupcakes liners when making those baked goodies. Muffin pans hate me. They really do. It’s a vast right wing conspiracy! I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!

Sorry; I was channeling the Clintons. But really… muffin pans hate me. It never fails. I make a tasty batter… I spoon into HEAVILY greased pans… they come out looking completely beautiful.

Then they stick. Did I mention that muffin pans hate me? They are evil sentient life forms that delight in my agony.

Muffin pan liners however are wonderful angelic sentient life forms that make my muffins come out easily and not in 37 pieces (we ate all those straight from the pan or as piles of muffin mush in bowls… still tasted great lol). Yes, I know that sometimes the sight of a whole muffin with no liners is prettier but muffin pans hate me. I’m not sure if I mentioned that yet.

So I bet you’re wondering what the recipe will be today right? Don’t stop now; click here!

Hey Blackberry, How You Taste So Sweet

 

…Hey blackberry, tell me what you see Tell me is it interesting Hey blackberry pay some attention to me Hey blackberry look at my bumblebee Hey blackberry you know he never stings And he only hums for me.

Now that you’ve read the title, I am sure you’ve figured out what this post is about, right?

You got it!!! It’s about LIVER!!!! Stuffed with Twinkies! Coated with Panko and deep fried.
Hmmm, how much do you want to bet that in a few weeks, you will be able to find a recipe for that somewhere on the web? Everything else in the world has been deep fried (I am fairly sure this is what happens to socks in the dryer. There is a secret chute and they are being taken to a 5 star restaurant somewhere and being served deep fried.), why not liver stuffed with Twinkies?

Darn it… now I want a Twinkie. Sans liver though.

Ok, before I gross everyone out completely, I should move on huh?

Quite a while ago, I printed out a recipe for Blackberry Pie Bars. I have seen the recipe in many places since then and many delicious sounding variations but the one I got came from here at Joy The Baker . They sounded utterly delicious and I love any excuse to make wholesome fruit slightly decadent hehe.

Finally…the last time I went to the store, I remembered to buy frozen blackberries. So today was the day for these. And I have to say… they’re amazing! Tender tart fruit mixed in a moist batter and topped with crumbs (I have a thing for crumbs. It’s a sickness.). You get a little bite of fruit, a bite of cake and some yummy crumbs (did I mention that crumb sickness thing?) in every bite. These are a little taste of Summer in the middle of Winter. The only thing I think I would do differently next time would be to take about another half cup of the crumbs and use them on top. The crust was a bit thick for my tastes and the topping a bit sparse.

So as I have said before, get to baking. You can thank me later. preferably with chocolate. Or Twinkies. No liver please.

Blackberry Pie Bars

  • Crust-
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter
  • Filling-
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon each of vanilla extract and almond extract
  • juice and zest from one small lemon
  • 2  (16-ounce) packages frozen blackberries, thawed and drained well
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar and salt.
  3. Cut the butter into chunks and cut it into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse crumbs.
  4. Reserve 1 1/2 cups. Pat the rest of the crumb mixture into a greased 13×9 inch pan.
  5. Bake for about ten minutes or until the edges have begun to get light brown. Set aside to cool for at least ten minutes.
  6. In another large bowl, beat the eggs. Add the sugar, sour cream, vanilla and almond extracts, lemon juice and zest. Gently fold in the drained blackberries. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs on top of the filling.
  7. Pour onto the cooled crust and bake at 350 degrees for about 50 minutes or until it is light golden brown.
  8. Let this cool for about an hour. I didn’t listen to those instructions at first and what I got out of the pan was a goopy, albeit tasty as all heck, mess. LET IT COOL! 😛
  9. Eat. Thank me. Thank Joy The Baker. Thank God for Blackberries 😀 hehe