Category Archives: chocolate

Let Them Eat Cake

Posted on by
36

As you can see, I stink at decorating 😛

 

But if you let them eat cake, make sure you refrigerate it after frosting it. Why you ask? Oh, just go look at the picture at the bottom of the post and you’ll understand hehe. This is what happens to a butter based frosting when left in a warm kitchen for too long. All I could think of was “omg, I am SO glad I got the photos taken!” My husband has more than once paid me the supreme compliment of calling me the most laid back person he’s ever known but I’m not sure how laid back I’d have been if the only photos I had to show you were the last ones lol. Though I did die laughing when my son called me (my husband and I were out) to tell me the cake had “collapsed”. I figure it still tastes good and I’m sure not out to prove to all of you how perfect I am so I want you to enjoy the laugh too.

So do as I say not as I did in this case. REFRIGERATE THE CAKE!!!! And maybe don’t put quite as much frosting in between the layers as I did. 😀 Just eat it from a spoon because you are going to have extra frosting because I am feeling too lazy to refigure the math to cut down the amounts so that you don’t have too much frosting between your layers. Just give the kids a spoon or offer the neighbor some frosting. They won’t refuse; I promise 😀

Ok; moving on (hehe… I think those words are becoming my trademark. I can’t write them now without giggling. I’m not going to tell you that this is a quick fix cake or something to start when you need a quick dessert. But for a special occasion or just cause you want to treat your family, this is an excellent choice. It’s showy (especially if you are better at decorating than I am which isn’t difficult because I’m horrible at it), rich and moist and tastes great. But it DOES take time. You could use a box mix for the cake I would guess and it would work but I make no promises as to whether it would be as good.  The cake recipe comes from Food Network and the frosting is from me.

Chocolate Fudge cake

With

Chocolate Raspberry Butter Cream Frosting

  • CAKE-
  • 3 cups brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup canola oil
  • 3 eggs (bring to room temp)
  • 2 2/3 cups all purpose flour
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 1/8 cups cocoa powder (unsweetened)
  • 1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam, melted (you will be using this after the cake layers have cooled and this is my own addition so feel free to omit if you want)
  • FROSTING-
  • 1/2 cup pureed and strained raspberries (2 pints got me the half cup and some extra raspberries for decorating)
  • 1/3 cup seedless raspberry jam
  • 3 sticks unsalted butter, softened
  • 3 cups semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 3 to 5 cups powdered sugar (will vary)
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon raspberry extract (optional; I didn’t think it needed it but wanted to post it for those who might like it)
  1. Cake- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three nine inch cakes pans (I used Bakers Joy instead; the spray that has both oil and flour in it and it worked fine)
  2. In a large bowl, combine the brown sugar and oil. On low speed of your mixer, add the eggs. Set aside and mix together your flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda.
  3. In a measuring cup, mix your vanilla into your milk (yes; this recipe makes a lot of dirty dishes 😛 ) and set aside.
  4. Bring the water to a boil and pour over the cocoa and whisk until it is well blended and smooth.
  5. To the egg mixture, alternately add the flour mixture and the milk mixture, beginning and ending with the flour. Make sure to scrape the sides of the bowl off after each addition.
  6. At low speed, add in the cocoa mixture.
  7. Pour into the prepared cake pans and bake at 350 until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, about 20 to 25 minutes. When cake layers have cooled, remove from pan and refrigerate the layers while you make the frosting. If you have no room to put in the fridge, just cover and set somewhere cool.
  8. FROSTING-
  9. While cake layers cool, make your frosting. Melt the chocolate with the heavy cream in the microwave until chocolate is melted (about 1 1/2 minutes). Stir until smooth. Set in the fridge to cool down somewhat, about ten minutes. Don’t leave too long or it will harden back up.
  10. Beat the butter, raspberries, raspberry jam and vanilla extract until well blended. Beat in the chocolate mixture.  One cup at a time, beat in the powdered sugar, stopping at four cups.
  11. Refrigerate frosting mixture for one to two hours.
  12. When thoroughly cold, beat mixture at high speed until thick and fluffy. If not thick enough to be spreadable, add more powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition.
  13. Take melted jam and using a pastry brush, brush generously over two of the cake layers.
  14. Set one cake layer (one of the ones with with jam) on serving plate and frost generously (but…ummm… not too generously like I did lol). Carefully top with the other jammed layer and frost. Top that with the last layer and frost top and sides. The cake can now legally use the name “Mount Cakesuvius”. Decorate as desired.

 

Mount Cakesuvius after it exploded

Courtin’ The Volcano

Posted on by
34

You know how there are some things you just don’t ever make for whatever reason? Some people are fearful of working with yeast (that’s one that never bothered me. I think I was so young and inexperienced when I started using it I didn’t even realize I was supposed to be nervous lol), others don’t like grilling (I do it but I can understand the fear… I was there the day my two oldest boys and my son in law almost set the back porch and back wall on fire “lighting” {translate- using far too much lighter fluid and loving it} the grill.) Still others hate working with puff pastry (I still get nervous with it myself), others hate baking cakes (that’s why God let us invent box mixes 😛 ) and so on and so forth.

One of my things has always been the Lava Cake. I wasn’t scared of it in the least. I had read many recipes for it and for some reason it just didn’t appeal to me so I never tried it. But today, trying to figure out what to do for the blog, I was looking in the cabinets and saw that I had some bittersweet chocolate I needed to use before the boys decided my 3 dollar and fifty cent bag of Ghirardelli’s chocolate was perfect to make the “trail mix” they love to use odds and ends to make. Then I would be minus two teenage boys for a while as I hung them by their toenails off of the roof. Hmmmm, thinking about it, that sounds like it could be fun just for general purposes 😀

Moving on (titters and knows regular readers know why I am)… bittersweet chocolate to use. I also had some Raspberries and Strawberries that were beginning to look a bit peaked. So I decided that ok, it was time. I would make a Lava Cake and try to figure out what all the fuss was over a half cooked cake (cause really… that IS all it is if you think about it.) I figured I’d make a berry couli with it and if nothing else, how bad could ANYTHING be with smooshed berries and whipped cream with it. 😀

All I have to say is this… WHY THE HELL DIDN’T SOMEBODY MAKE ME ONE OF THESE AND FORCE IT INTO MY MOUTH YEARS AGO??! Shame on all of you for not writing me, say a decade ago (not knowing me then is no excuse darn it!) and telling me that I just HAD to try a Lava Cake.

Erhmmm, that was my way of saying I kinda liked it. Admittedly, I can’t lie, the berry couli was a big draw too but the gooey chocolate (aka the half cooked cake; I can’t lie to myself about that either) with the slightly crispy edge of the cooked part was…ummm… ehhh, it was ok I guess, if you’re gonna pin me down. FINE!! It was good! Happy now? I said it. Sheesh; some people. 😛

So try this. Right now. Go. Shoo. Get to the kitchen. Well, copy and print out the recipe first. But THEN… go. Cook. Eat. Drool. This recipe (the cake part anyway) comes from Paula Deen.

Chocolate Lava Cake

With

A Double Berry Couli

  • 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped if needed
  • 2 ounces semi sweet chocolate, chopped if needed
  • 10 tablespoons unsalted butter (NAHH!!! Not butter from a Paula Deen recipe 😛 )
  • 1/2 cup all purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
  • 3 large eggs
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons orange liquor (Optional. I didn’t use it since I was using the berry couli)
  • For the couli-
  • 1 cups raspberries
  • 1 cup capped and sliced strawberries
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Grease 6 6 ounce ramekins. Melt the butter and chocolates in the microwave (took a minute and 15 seconds in my 1000 watt microwave).
  3. Add the flour and sugar to the chocolate. Mix well.
  4. Add the eggs and egg yolks. Stir well until smooth (I used low on my mixer; worked fine) Stir in the vanilla and liquor if using.
  5. Divide the batter evenly among the ramekins
  6. Bake at 425 for 14 minutes. Do NOT over bake. The edge should be firm but the middle still goopy (yes, I said goopy 😛 )
  7. Loosen the edge carefully with a butter knife then invert onto a dessert plate.
  8. For the couli-
  9. Mix berries, sugar and lemon juice in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium high heat, stirring frequently, until mixture is slightly thickened. Strain through a fine mesh strainer, pushing down on it to get all the juice.  Let cool. Serve the cake in a puddle of couli with lightly sweetened whipped cream or serve the couli on the sides for people to put on the amount they want. If the cakes cool down too much and the inside thickens up, just microwave it for 20 seconds or so.

Ben Needs This Dessert Cause His Parents Are Mean

Posted on by
70

Can't you just taste that oozing caramel now?

My son Joshie wanted me to read to him the other night. He brought out a book that we’ve had since my older kids were little. It’s called “Ben Finds A Friend.

This has got to be the most depressing children’s book ever written. Poor Ben is a lonely little boy who just wants a pet but the parents from Hell have excuses for every pet suggestion he brings to them. A dog? Nope; too messy and tears up the furniture (Hello? Obedience training anyone?). A cat? C’mon dad, how about a soft tiny purring kitty? No way Ben they scratch and bite and steal food from the refrigerator (Ummm… if that cat opens the fridge and gets food, teach the son of a biscuit to COOK darn it! You can make a mint! Frodo, the cooking kitty!) The picture then shows poor Ben walking off, looking totally dejected, shoulders slumped. I wanted to reach in there and give the kid a hug (and buy him a kitty).

So then he goes back to mom and asks for a Monkey. Hey, I want a Monkey too; I can understand the desire! I want a Monkey that I can name Stash and teach him to stand on a street corner to make money for me. But noooooo, mom says no to a Monkey too because they are dirty and messy and have fleas. The Evil Wench! So it was back to dad and asking for a parrot. Again; no. Even though Ben explained that they didn’t do any bad things or have any of the above mentioned bad habits, it was nil, nada, zilch on a fine feathered friend  cause dads response was that they screech and squawk and say terrible things. Ummm… they will only say terrible things if you TEACH them terrible things. Though in Bens defense, the parrot may end up saying “Mom and dad are evil parents who don’t let me know the joy and responsibility of raising a pet”. As for screeching, two words; CAGE COVER.

Then he wanted a Hamster. A small teenieeeee tinyyyyy Hamster that he could keep in his room and take care of. But Mommy Dearest said she doesn’t like hamsters because they sleep all day ( sounds like a good day to ME plus  mom, you cretin, the kid isn’t asking YOU to love on it and give it a name. HE wants it… duhhhh.) So he goes to his room where we find out he is sick and when the doctor (who does house calls) arrives, doc says Ben has a bug. The boy gets excited because he assumes it came to be a pet for him. Then he begins to daydream about having a pet…ANY PET *sobs for poor Ben*

So how does this ultimately end as you’re trying as a reader to figure out how to call fictional CPS for emotional neglect? The kid sees a Pigeon on his windowsill and asks mom for some bread crumbs for it. A PIGEON!  Poor little lonely Ben, who has no parental interaction,  has to settle for a wild smelly mite and vermin carrying Pigeon for a pet. WAHHHH!!!!!

Ben needs chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And since this book was written before sweet and salty caramel was around written and Ben is now grown (and needing massive amounts of therapy thanks to his parents) and probably doesn’t get new food treats in the asylum, I made a treat in Bens honor. This is a buttery shortbread crust covered in a sweet/salty sea salt homemade caramel that has been given a nice shot of rum (as was the creator of the recipe because I was so damn depressed over Ben) and then smothered in a thick chocolate ganache. This isn’t HARD to make but the caramel is a precise recipe and takes time. This also has to chill for hours so you need to pre-plan when you want to make this. But oh my; it’s worth it. Sweet, salty, caramelly (yes that is now a word. I said so.) , chocolatey and buttery with a nice crumbly crust. This makes extra caramel. Just store it in a covered container in the fridge and use it for anything you’d use caramel for…like eating it straight from the spoon.

Rum Infused Salted  Caramel/Chocolate Wedges

On A Buttery Shortbread Crust

  • SHORTBREAD CRUST-
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • splash of vanilla extract
  • HOMEMADE CARAMEL-
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
  • 2 cups heavy cream minus two tablespoons
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons rum
  • CHOCOLATE GANACHE-
  • 1/2 cup semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • more sea salt for sprinkling
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. To make the crust, combine ingredients in a medium bowl. Mix until it is well blended and crumbly. Press down into a foil lined and greased 9 inch pie pan (you can also use a 8 or 9 inch square pan but I like the look of the wedges better). Bake at 350 until lightly browned around the edges, about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  3. For the caramel- While the crust is cooking (don’t forget about it and burn it; I’ve done that lol) melt the 1/2 cup butter in a large saucepan. Add the sugar and sea salt and cook over medium high heat, stirring very often, until the mixture is a deep golden brown, anywhere from 7 to 12 or so minutes. The darker you get it (before you burn it lol) the more intense the caramel flavor is so if you want milder don’t cook as long).
  4. Add your vinegar and rum to your cream and add the mixture to the pan of sugar (do NOT stir). Cover the pan and let cook over medium low heat without stirring until most of the caramel bits dissolve, about 8 minutes or so.
  5. Uncover and whisk until sauce is slightly thick, deep brown and reduced to about 2 1/2 cups, stirring often. If there are still any caramel bits that haven’t dissolved, just fish them out with a slotted spoon. Then eat them; they are yummy!
  6. Let cool for about ten minutes then pour over the shortbread crust. Cover with foil and refrigerate for about an hour.
  7. FOR THE GANACHE-
  8. In a microwavable bowl, mix the chocolate chips and heavy cream. Melt at half power, stirring often, until mixture is smooth and thoroughly combined.  Let cool for about 3 minutes (no longer or it will firm up and become unspreadable and you’ll have to reheat it )
  9. Carefully pour over the caramel mixture and smooth. Sprinkle with more sea salt. Let this cool until the caramel has firmed up. This can take about 4 to 5 hours so plan ahead.
  10. Cut into wedges and serve with whipped cream (and maybe some of the extra caramel sauce if you’re really into excess.

Chocolate Is Our Friend

Posted on by
38

This is creamy, silky, chocolately and as rich as a good quality piece of candy...but cold 😛

Well, it’s my friend anyway. Maybe it hates you. I don’t really know. But if it does, can you send it over to my house? I’ll buy it dinner and roses, say sweet things to it, then nibble at it’s silky neck. Man, why does every post I write lately have sexual undertones? What is UP with that? Maybe I just need more chocolate. Yeah, that’s it; more chocolate. Silky, sweet, creamy chocolate *stops to get a towel to wipe up the drool from the keyboard*

I’ve been told that I am a good albeit very random and tangential sort of a writer. I just can’t understand that. You mean all the careful hours of planning I put into each and every painstaking word doesn’t show? The care and love, the blood sweat and tears (and chocolate) I pour into every post I lovingly create for all of you isn’t immediately apparent? Me? Random?

Oooo, shiny thing!!! I’ll be right back.

I’m back. I still don’t understand that random tangential thing though. Hmmpphhh.

My husband, while he likes chocolate as much as any male, jokes (at least he tries to play it off as a joke; I know better.) that men simply don’t have the same hormonal response to chocolate that women do. I have often wondered but have been too lazy to research whether or not there may be some basis in fact for that. I mean, we all know that chocolate is considered a mood lifter due to the phenylephylamine in it which is the same hormone your body releases during those early “omg, I just have to see him! I haven’t seen him for seventeen minutes!” times of being in love. Not that I’m tangential but has anyone but me ever thought that while it might be interesting, it would also be extremely emotionally and physically tiring to stay in that initial “I’m in love and giddy and my heart is racing” phase forever? I think there are valid physiological and psychological reasons that dies down after a while and love becomes quieter.

Where was I? Oh yeah… chocolate and womens response to it. I can’t help but feel my husbands theory has some validity. Most women I know, when we’re having a bad day, we reach for a piece or twelve of chocolate. Men however reach for a beer and the remote (or go hide in the bathroom for half an hour under the guise of bodily functions. Ok, maybe that’s just my husband.) and would rarely if ever think of grabbing some chocolate to self sooth and relax. Oh well, future research territory here when I have another chocolate post 😛

Try this one. I can’t express how much your mood will be lifted. Especially if you just stick your face in it and inhale. What? Think of it as dessert and a facial at the same time. This is a bittersweet chocolate mousse that has been frozen. I added a little cinnamon and cayenne pepper to it but you can omit those if you must. I’ll try to forgive you. It looked naked however so I sliced up some strawberries, added a generous amount of honey and some fresh mint leaves and added those to serve with this heavenly chocolate delight. And whipped cream. Gotta have whipped cream. It’s the LAW. this dessert is beyond awesome and perfect for a dinner party or when you just want to be nice to your family (I.E. you spent too much money at Amazon or Bath & Body Works)

Frozen Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse

With

Honey Mint Strawberries & Whipped Cream

  • 7 ounces (approximately 1 1/4 cups) bittersweet chocolate, chopped
  • 2/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1/3 cup plus one tablespoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (optional)
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon bourbon or brandy
  • cocoa and powdered sugar for dusting
  • whipped cream
  • HONEY MINT STRAWBERRIES-
  • 1 lb fresh strawberries, capped and sliced
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves
  1. Put the chocolate into a large bowl and set aside
  2. In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the cream, 1/3 cup sugar, cinnamon and cayenne to a gentle simmer.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg yolk and one tablespoon sugar. SLOWLY whisk in half the hot cream mixture. Return it all to the saucepan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens, about five minutes. Do NOT boil.
  4. Pour the hot mixture over the chocolate. let sit for about 2 minutes. Slowly whisk in the butter, a little bit at a time and then add the vanilla and the bourbon. Whisk until the mixture is very smooth. If you can’t get all the chocolate to melt, you can heat it in 30 second increments on half power in the microwave to melt the chocolate more. Just do this with caution so you don’t burn the mixture.
  5. Spray a 8 or 9 inch bread pan with cooking spray then line it with plastic wrap.  Scrape the mixture from the bowl into the pan. Cover with more plastic wrap and freeze for at least six hours. This can be made well ahead of time and left frozen and well wrapped.
  6. Meanwhile, make your honeyed strawberries. All that entails is mixing the ingredients together and letting it sit for about 2 hours.
  7. To serve, uncover and invert the mousse onto a serving plate. Remove the plastic wrap. Dust with cocoa powder and/or powdered sugar. Garnish with the honeyed strawberries and whipped cream.
  8. Do that face sticking thing I mentioned. Remember… facial.

Literally melt in your mouth good

Who Says This Flavor Combo Is Just For Christmas?

Posted on by
37

I think it has already become obvious that I like drinks. No no not alcoholic drinks though I have been known to imbibe at times. On a side note related to that, the women my husband works with (he is an R.N. so mainly works with women) told him recently when I was talking to him at work and said for him to tell them that I would have a beer for them (they were working late) that I “didn’t look like a drinker”.  Huh? Now I love these ladies to death so if you’re reading this, know that it tickled me to no end to hear that but…. HUH???? What does a drinker look like anyway? 😛 I feel like next time I want to have a drink (tonight) I need to get on a wife beater t-shirt, lots of eye make up and burp and cuss a lot. Wait… I know people like that. Never mind. 😀 But seriously, what does a drinker look like anyway? Obviously not middle aged and middle income with long hair that has more gray than I like to admit to and a really laid back way of dressing (translate- jeans and t shirts or nightgowns if I can get away with it). I have always gotten the “sweet” label but darn it, I can cuss and drink with the best of them!!! So long as they don’t say anything stronger than darn it and don’t drink anything too high of a proof or I’ll end up on the floor…or giggling madly because my hand looks funny. I’m really ruining my own case here aren’t I? Sigh.

Moving on…or back…or sideways, whichever it was, I like drinks. Cold drinks, hot drinks, warm drinks, room temp drinks (am I the only one who prefers my pop room temp?). I am a very poor eater at the best of times but I am a fairly big drinker (now that sounds bad. I can see it later… “Yeah Janet said right there in her blog that she has a drinking problem! No, really, she did! She said she is a big drinker!”) and like most people, I am even more so in hot weather. I still drink my hot tea but I like to shake it up a bit. Hmmm, now that I’ve said shake, I can move onto the recipe. Wow, was that a lame segue or what!?

I have never been much on the you can/should/must/it’s the law/only eat some things during certain times of the year idea. When I want something, other than seasonal berries that cost more than a house payment during the Winter, I want it now. I don’t want to wait six months for it to be the “right” time to eat it. Today, I wanted chocolate mint. That is typically a combo one sees the most during the holidays and I’m not sure why. Especially when you can be having it in this delicious shake. And boy, do I mean delicious. Being the poor eater that I am, I will probably not eat dinner tonight because I am too busy slurping this shake down as I type this. But I think it’s worth it 😀 Frosty mint, vanilla ice cream and sweet chocolate . Oh my. This is yummy. So get out the blender; go buy some York Peppermint Patties and vanilla ice cream (and some peppermint schnapps and creme de cacao if you want an adult version) and get to blending this one. Enjoy!

York Peppermint Pattie Milk Shake

  • 3 snack sized York peppermint Patties (plus one more for garnish)
  • 1/2 cup cold milk
  • 2/3 cup vanilla ice cream
  • 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup
  • a few drops mint extract (optional)
  • 1/2 shot each peppermint schnapps and creme de cacao if making an adult version
  1. Put it all in the blender.
  2. Blend.
  3. Garnish with the extra peppermint pattie, whipped cream and more chocolate syrup
  4. Drink.
  5. Wasn’t that easy?

 

Print Friendly and PDF

This Has Not A Darn Thing To Do With The Recipe :-P

Posted on by
49

These are thick & fudgy & oh so chewy with frosting that isn't too sweet. Oh my....

 

But it’s a funny story and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I am not in possession of working brain cells today and I couldn’t think of a story that would segue into Malted Milk Ball Brownies easily 😛 .

I wrote this years back. Yes… it’s true 😀

Who needs fillings? I have glue!

Last night I was, well, rather buzzed. Ok ok I was pretty well blitzed. Well, I have some herbal supplement drops I take every day. At about 9pm, I drunkenly realized I hadn’t taken then yet. In a fit of alcohol induced responsibility to my body, I went to go take them.

Just like most people, I can walk through my home in the dark with no problem. I know the path; I do it often. So when I went to get the drops out of my purse, I didn’t bother with a light. I grabbed my purse off the bathroom floor and got the drops out by feel. Or so I thought. I shook the bottle feeling like such a good girl that I was remembering to take them, hiccuped a few times, then experimentally shook the bottle. Then shook it again because I was SURE I had had more than that in there.

But, being the drunken fool that I was, I just assumed I had used more than I thought so I opened the bottle and tipped it up over my mouth. Not much was coming out so I squeezed harder… then harder. Suddenly some spark ignited in a few sober cells in my brain and I turned on the light and looked at the bottle. I had just squirted a half a bottle of Nail Glue (Super Glue) in my mouth.

“OMG… ACKKKKK… I’m gonna glue my tongue to my teeth!!!”, I screamed as I turned the water as hot as it would go after flinging the culprit glue behind me. I started gulping hot water trying to dissolve the glue before it glued my wiggly thingy in my throat to my tongue or something. Yes, I know it’s called a Uvula but wiggly thingy is more fun. I grabbed my toothbrush and practically killed myself trying to brush my Esophagus and stomach lining. Screw my glue coated teeth. I had visions of my throat sticking to itself and dying on my bathroom floor with my uvula stuck to my tongue. I had no intention of the legacy I left my kids being a headline on the 11 o clock news saying “A local woman died tonight after she drank super glue and her wiggly thingy got attached to her esophagus and she choked to death.”

After I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to die of glue poisoning or a glued throat, I started laughing. Only in MY life could this happen. Never again will I look for ANYTHING when I’m buzzed.

My teeth feel funny. How do you get super glue off your teeth???

On that note, today I made brownies for you. Not just any brownies though; these are stuffed with chocolate chips and many many chunky pieces of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. then to add insult to high blood sugar injury, I added a thick creamy malted milk buttercream and garnished it with more Whoppers. Now unless you have the sugar tolerance of say… a five year old (I.E. could eat a full five pound bag of sugar with no problem and ask for more) cut these small. They are rich… they are sweet… they are darned awesome if I do say so myself. Enjoy! 🙂 These are loosely adapted from a Cooks Illustrated brownie recipe.

Malted Milk Ball Brownies

With

A Malted Milk Butter Cream Frosting

  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup chocolate flavored malted milk powder (find with the nestles quik and hot cocoa mixes and such)
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
  • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
  • 1/2 stick (1/4 cup) melted butter
  • 2/3 cup oil
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (am I the only one who calls it “all porpoise flour? Ummm…don’t answer that)
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips (use good quality ones)
  • 2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely crushed (leave the chunks decent sized; you want to bite into the brownies and get some nice flavor from the chunks of candy :-)  )
  • FOR THE FROSTING- (we’re making this easy {but still delicious} today)
  • 1 can butter cream frosting
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
  • 2/3 cups malted milk powder
  • malted milk balls for garnish
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
  3. Whisk together the cocoa, malted milk powder and boiling water.
  4. Add the unsweetened chocolate and whisk well until the chocolate is melted.
  5. Whisk in the melted butter and oil then the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla. Whisk in the sugar. Stir in the flour and salt.
  6. Fold in the chocolate chips and crushed malted milk balls.
  7. Bake at 350 until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the middle (make sure you’re not hitting a chip) comes out mostly clean. A little bit of loose crumbs is fine but it’s not done if it comes out gooey and/or liquidy. They took 45 minutes in my oven.
  8. For the frosting, mix all the frosting ingredients together and beat well for 2 to 3 minutes to make sure the malted milk powder is dissolved. this is a fairly thin frosting so if you want it thicker, make it while the brownies are cooking or cooling and refrigerate it to firm it up.
  9. Frost brownies and garnish with more malted milk balls.

Not the fanciest decorating job but I had a two year old who wanted to do it 😀

Have I Mentioned That I love Berries And Chocolate?

Posted on by
31

I love them separately, I love them together. I do so love them on a plane, I would happily chow down on them on a train. I would eat them with a goat (but he better not try to get any) I would eat them near a moat. I will so eat them sam I am. I would eat them in a can. Ok, maybe not that last part but my rhyming skills are rusty.

Ok, now that my Dr. Seuss moment is over, I really do love berries. And chocolate. And berries and chocolate together. I look forward to Spring/Summer every year for one reason only since I hate the heat. I can get berries inexpensively (and corn on the cob but that’s another story.)

I wanted to make something with fruit for today (Memorial Day) but I just wasn’t up to something that took a lot of work or, since I wanted something my two year old (and grandkids) could eat, something that was too messy.

I decided to make a bar cookie with fresh Strawberries. Then the wonderful thought occurred to me to use chocolate too because I mean really, is there anything better than a chocolate covered strawberry? Except maybe chocolate and raspberries.

I ended up with a mildly sweet shortbread style crust with a juicy creamy chocolate covered strawberry center topped by crumbs and more chocolate. While my recipe is fairly different, I want to give a shout out to the lovely hostess of  Can You Stay For Dinner for the inspiration.

So if you want a nice bar cookie to take with to a BBQ tonight, this one will work for you. It would also be great as a weeknight (or weekend) dessert for your family or the best idea of all, just as one of those go hide in the closet and whimper pitifully if anyone comes near and tries to take them from you style sweets.

Enjoy!! Have a great Memorial Day!

CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRY BARS

  • CRUST-
  • 1 cup softened butter (2 sticks)
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2/3 cup powdered sugar
  • FILLING-
  • 1 lb container fresh strawberries, capped and thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup strawberry preserves (I actually ended up using a 1/4 cup strawberry and a 1/4 cup Raspberry but you can use what you like)
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 12 ounce bag chocolate chips
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Lightly grease a 13×9 inch pan.
  3. Combine flour, butter and powdered sugar until you have pea sized crumbs.
  4. Pat 2 cups of the crumb mixture into the bottom of the greased pan. Set the rest aside.
  5. Bake the crust for ten minutes or until a very light golden brown around the edges.
  6. Meanwhile, gently fold your sliced strawberries together with the preserves.
  7. In a small bowl, mix half the bag of chocolate chips with the sweetened condensed milk and microwave on high in 30 seconds increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.
  8. Carefully spread the strawberry mixture on top of the hot crust. Then pour the chocolate/milk mix on top of the berries and spread. Sprinkle that with the reserved crumbs and the other half of the bag of chocolate chips.
  9. Bake at 350 for about 30 to 35 minutes or until the center is set.
  10. Let cool, preferably in the fridge for a couple of hours. But just letting it cool and attacking it works too.

 

I Do Not Have A Caffeine Problem

Posted on by
32

I ALWAYS shake like this. It’s a natural thing for me. really; it is. *Cough cough*

I don’t much like coffee. I think I’ve mentioned that before. I’m a tea person at heart. But being the fair kind hearted person that I am, I’m always willing to make exceptions. So what exceptions do I make you ask? You were asking weren’t you? I like coffee if it has 4000 calories due to the flavored syrups, piles of whipped cream and various sprinkles. I mean seriously? Is there a reason to drink it any other way? It’s natural depths of flavors are brought out by all the other ingredients. At least that’s what I tell myself when I go to Starbucks and order a cafe mocha macchiato latte with 4 extra shots of espresso made with heavy cream straight from the cow, don’t hold the can of whipped cream and 2 extra cups of chocolate syrup please.

Recently, Starbucks has me hooked with the new Coconut Mocha Frappuccino. I can easily drink 4, ok, 12, maybe 23 of those bad boys in a row. Don’t worry; I keep an eye out for all the restrooms nearby. And the caffeine doesn’t bother me a bit. Just ask my husband. We were just talking about this last night as I slurped down one of my home made frappuccinos. It’s still considered slurping it down if you have your head buried in the glass licking out the remaining contents from the inside isn’t it? He told me I looked adorable with that caffeinated wild look in my eyes and whipped cream dripping down my chin. He still likes to bring up the day we got the police escort out of our local Starbucks after I had six Cinnamon Dolce Lattes in a row. I’ve never understood why the police were so upset. I was just trying to help clean out the blenders. And the counters. And the back room. And the other customers. As for my husband bringing it up with that funny look on his face, it’s not like the bail money set us back THAT much. I like to think of it as a bonding experience. For the life of me though, I can’t figure out why the closed sign is always up when I go near that place.  When we reminisce about good times like that, my husbands smile looks forced. Go figure.

When we had to mortgage the kids however, I realized it might be time to figure out how to make my own Coconut Mocha Frappuccinos at home. We had to save the money plus the kids weren’t here to help me with the housework. So Idid. Because…well… that’s what I do. I create things that hopefully you like and you tell me how wonderful I am to have done so. At least it works that way in my day dreams.

This isn’t exactly like Starbucks (I love you Starbucks people!!!! Don’t be mad at me! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?) but it’s darn close and it doesn’t cost me five bucks. Which means I have five bucks extra to waste spend at places like Amazon.  That way, I can buy educational books like “How to beat your caffeine addiction in twelve easy cups”.

In the meantime however, I’ll go lick out clean out the blender and you go make some of these. In theory it makes enough for two, but we all know better, don’t we?

By the way, anyone know if I have to keep paying the mortgage on the kids once they turn 18?

COCONUT MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO WANNA-BE

  • 2 cups of ice cubes
  • 1 cup milk (you can use whatever kind. We all know I used whole)
  • 1/2 cup double strength coffee (just make half a pot of coffee using the amount of coffee you’d use for a full pot)
  • 1/2 cup chocolate syrup
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons coconut extract (found with the vanilla extract at the store) (I plan on getting some coconut syrup to try making this with)
  • GARNISH-  whipped cream, caramel syrup, chocolate syrup and coconut flakes
  1. Toss all the ingredients in the blender except for the garnish. Blend until …well… blended. garnish then drink. then make more. Then drink. Then make more. Then drink. Then come clean my house. Do you do windows?

Sweets For The Sweet

Posted on by
14

I’ve mentioned my kids before. I have six. Five boys and one girl. My three oldest are grown and married and have given me five grandchildren. Honest, they started young. I’m really only 29. Honest and truly. Sigh. Not falling for it are you? Moving on… I still have two teens (16 and 14) and a two year old at home. Nice age spacing huh? 😛 It was something in the water. It must have been. By the time my youngest gets out of high school, I won’t be too far away from social security. I think I’ll stop thinking about that though and go look for wrinkles for a few minutes.

Ok, back. Wrinkles glared at menacingly. They’re still there. I don’t think they were impressed.

My teen boys are almost done with the school year. Next Friday is it. Zach will be graduating eighth grade; with honors no less. He’s an awesome kid. Jordan will be finishing his freshman year of high school. Once upon a time, I wasn’t sure if he would even make it TO high school, much less finish a year. Not because of anything due to him, but due to the things he has to deal with on a daily basis. Both Jordan and Zach have grown so much this year in so many ways.

When Jordan was born, he had a Strep B infection and Pneumonia.  He came very close to death and was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. We started noticing developmental delays when he was about 3. To make a long story short, Jordan has mild M.R., is Autistic, has one hellacious case of ADHD, minor OCD and has had many schizophrenic/psychotic episodes and these have increased as he has gotten older which is fairly typical. He has had more inpatient stays in the hospital for aggression and psychosis than any one boy should have to deal with. Through it all, though he’s not perfect, he stays the sweetest child one could ever hope to know. He would give the shirt off of his back (literally) just to have a friend. He has a warped sense of humor (I have no idea where he got that) and loves his family and his God with all his heart. He can’t decide if he wants to be a forklift driver, work at Starbucks, drive a semi or become a chef. Personally, I think he can be anything. We are hoping he will be able to enter into a live in vocational school here in the state after high school. He will learn to be as self sufficient as he is able to be, learn skills for work and learn things like working with money and social skills. He is sixteen going on eight going on forty and will always be a child in many ways and I hope he knows how much I love him

Zachary was my youngest for a long time. Eleven years almost. Sometimes that shows in the way he acts lol.  However, he has also had to be older than his years so many times due to having a brother with disabilities. You can’t be part of a family with someone who is challenged without it changing you in some way. Except for his first few years of life, he never got to be the baby brother to Jordan and now he is older than him, just not biologically. It hurts me for him at times to think of that. So many times he gets shoved to the side because of his older brothers needs and now his younger brothers needs. But he still laughs, still jokes, still loves to play practical jokes on everyone who breathes near him and has a sense of responsibility, that while he pushes it aside at times because…well, he IS fourteen after all, that would put many adults to shame. He is a gifted student who is always on the honor roll. He can’t decide whether to join the military, be a chef, a writer, an artist, an architect, a lawyer or so many other things that change according to his moods. Personally, I think he can be anything. He is fourteen going on forty and sometimes going on three lol. I hope that he too knows how much I love him.

I wanted to make them a treat today and well, you can never go wrong with cookies. They are typical boys. The second they saw the cookies on the cooling racks, they were beggin for them. I let them beg for a minute…or 15… because I’m cruel that way 😛

I also made a double batch because I know that between them and Russell, that’s the only way I’ll get more than one.

These are wonderful cookies. They are stuffed full of dried cherries, milk, semi sweet and white chocolate chips. They have a subtle almond flavor, a nice chewy bite with a crisp edge and the tartness of the cherries is offset wonderfully by the sweetness of the various chips. You can also add nuts to these but I don’t like nuts in cookies other than white chocolate macadamias so I didn’t. Nuts are good in fudge and sometimes in brownies but they have to stay away from my cookies. 🙂

Cherry Chunk Cookies

  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract
  • 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 cup white chocolate chips
  • 3/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
  • 3/4 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1 5 ounce package dried cherries
  • 1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy. Add extracts and egg and beat thoroughly
  3. In a small bowl, combine the flour, salt and baking soda. Add to the butter mixture and mix well. Add in the cherries, chips and nut (if using).
  4. Drop or scoop by rounded spoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 until golden brown, about 14 minutes.
  5. Cool on pan for a minute then transfer to a wire rack to finish cooling.
  6. Eat about 6 of these and vow yet again never to look at sweets. Wait until the kids are in bed and eat more. Rinse; repeat.