Category Archives: lemon

Lemon-White Chocolate Pound Cake With A Lemon Honey Glaze

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Lemon White Chocolate Pound Cake With A Lemon Honey Glaze

Lemon White Chocolate Pound Cake With A Lemon Honey Glaze


I have a thing for pound cake. I may have mentioned that before. While I love fancier desserts too, especially those that are rich, creamy and filled with 5000 sticky calories per serving, I also love the simple desserts. Pound cake is just so homey, comforting, and darned easy. And if you want creamy, all you need to do is top it with whipped cream, 12 scoops of ice cream and chocolate sauce. Not that I’d do that of course. Nope, nope, nope, not me *wipes chocolate sauce off chin*


I was torn between making a lemon pound cake, which I’ve been promising my husband for weeks lol, or Pumpkin Bread, because personally, I’m ready to get my Autumn on. But the followers on my facebook page voted for the pound cake (you meanie butts you!!! You’d better be glad I lurves you all! 😛 ) so here you go.

As I mentioned to them, I can’t, however, make just a “normal” pound cake. I’ve said before (and will probably say again because I’m getting old and forgetful. Did I mention that I’m getting old and forgetful?) and will say again (because I’m old and forgetful) that I lack the gene that makes me capable of making a recipe as listed. Nope… gotta either drastically change one so that it is like giving plastic surgery to Justin Bieber and making him look like Madonna or I have to just make up one of my own.

This one is just your basic pound cake incarnation. But I added a ton of lemon flavor as well as a touch of ginger for zing to the batter. Then for good measure I dumped some white chocolate chunks in there. They melted entirely into the batter, leaving these little pockets of slightly crispy sweetness. And if you’ve never had white chocolate with lemon, you’re in for a treat. They go SO well together! Then I topped this with a tart lemony glaze that has a subtle hint of honey.

This is NOT a mild little cake. It’s quite sweet, so serve small slices.

You know the drill…

Lemon-White Chocolate Pound Cake With A Lemon Honey Glaze

  • 1 1/2 cups flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 tablespoons lemon zest
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon extract (if you have an emulsion, even better, Use 1 teaspoon)
  • 1/2 cup lemon juice
  • 2/3 cup oil
  • GLAZE-
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 2 teaspoons sour cream
  • 1 teaspoon lemon zest
  • 1/4 teaspoon lemon extract
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9 inch loaf pan with a non stick spray such as Bakers Joy.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, baking soda, lemon zest and white chocolate chips. Stir well.
  3. In a medium bowl, combine the eggs, extracts, lemon juice and oil. Whisk to combine.
  4. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ones, all at once. Stir well to combine until there are no dry floury spots left.
  5. Pour the batter into the prepared pan Bake at 350 until a wooden skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean, about 60 minutes. If it starts to get too brown on top, cover loosely with foil.
  6. When done, cool in pan for five minutes, then run a butter knife along the edges to loosen the cake and turn it out onto a wire rack to finish cooling.
  7. For glaze, combine all the glaze ingredients in a small bowl. Whisk to combine, making sure to get rid of all the lumps.
  8. Pour or spoon glaze over the cooled cake.

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Mascarpone Lemon Cheesecake & Berry Parfaits

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Mascarpone lemon Cheesecake & berry Parfaits

Mascarpone lemon Cheesecake & Berry Parfaits


Wow, that recipe name was a mouthful. But I wanted to get the gist of it across. I could have just said cheesecake parfaits but beyond the fact that that sounds completely boring, it doesn’t talk about the mascarpone and we all know that mascarpone creates a totally different cheesecake and mouth feel (hehehehe… I said mouth feel…{insert Beavis and Butthead voice here } yes, I am really 12 years old ) than plain cream cheese so it needed mentioning. And of course you see the berries but you can’t SEE the lemon so I had to mention it too lol.

Other bloggers know how difficult it can be to come up with a name for something you’ve made if it doesn’t already have one. I have seen some that are so ridiculously long that it turns me off of even wanting to make the dish. Fictitious example- “Lamb Burgers With a Garlic Emu testicle Aioli, Caramelized And Bruleed Llama Toenails And  Sauteed Red peppers Served On A Tapioca Flour Spelt Bun On A Bed Of Spicy Arugala”. If you read recipes, you KNOW what I’m talking about there. Then on the other extreme you have ones that give you no idea of what it is. You’ll see a photo that obviously has a handful of different components but all it will say is “Llama Rice”. But…but…but…WAIT!!! I see what looks like pine nuts there and sparrow wings and dried fruit and and and isn’t that a brioche it’s resting in???

Thus why I tried to be somewhat concise here. Because Mascarpone No Bake Lemon Cheesecake With a Graham Cracker Crumble, Lemon Curd And Berries made me cringe as a title. And Lemon Cheesecake doesn’t do this justice.

I was quite proud of this when I tried the final dessert. I had already tried a bit 75 spoonsful of each separate part and they were all fantastic. I could and possibly do eat lemon curd as my dessert just off the spoon. I may have made a double batch for this dessert just so that I would have a lot of leftovers hehe. The cheesecake filling was simple yet tasted rich and creamy. The graham cracker crumble was a wonderful sweet textural counterpoint to the creaminess of the dessert. And the berries?? Well, they’re berries… in season…with raspberry jam. What else can I say? 😀

This comes together easily but it is a little time consuming as you are layering it all. It also makes enough for 12 servings so either make this for a large gathering (think cookout, pot luck or picnic) or cut it in half. Whatever you do, enjoy and… git to cookin’.

Mascarpone Lemon Cheesecake & Berry Parfaits

  • Cheesecake-
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, room temp
  • 1 8 ounce package mascarpone cheese, room temp
  • 1 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
  • zest of one lemon
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Lemon Curd-
  • My recipe for lemon curd is here
  • Graham Cracker Crumble
  • 1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
  • Berries-
  • 3 pints mixed berries (I used raspberries and blueberries)
  • 3 tablespoons raspberry jam (GOOD QUALITY)
  • 1 teaspoon orange zest

 

    1. Make your lemon curd first so that it can chill. When made, cover bowl and refrigerate for about 2 hours.
    2. Make the cheesecake which couldn’t be easier as this is no bake. In a medium bowl, combine the cream cheese and mascarpone cheese. Beat at medium high speed with a hand mixer until smooth and creamy. Pour in the condensed milk and beat until mixture is again smooth and creamy
    3. Add in the lemon juice, lemon zest and vanilla. Beat at low speed just until combined. Pour mixture into a tupperware-ish bowl and refrigerate for about 2 hours.
    4. Make your berries- In a medium bowl, combine the berries (make sure to pick off all the pesky leftover stems). Add in the jam (melt it a little and cool it if it is a very thick jam. You don’t want to have to stir so hard to mix that you crush all the berries) and stir to combine. Again, refrigerate for about 2 hours to give the flavors time to meld.
    5. Make your graham cracker crumble- Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line baking sheet with foil.
    6. In a small bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs and sugar.
    7. Mix in the melted butter into the crumbs and stir well until is is all combined.
    8. Pour crumbs onto baking pan and bake at 350 for ten minutes or until the crumbs look dry and lightly toasted, stirring once halfway through cooking. Remove from oven and set aside to cool.
    9. When the other ingredients have chilled, get out 12 4 ounce glasses (4 ounce canning jars work well if you don’t have a lot of glasses and they come in handy with the current trend towards desserts in jars plus it makes them portable if taking them out of the house)
    10. Layer the ingredients in whatever order strikes your fancy. I did it with cheesecake filling, crumbs, lemon curd, berries and then repeated one time.
    11. Chill parfaits until serving time.

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Lemon Icebox Pie With Honeyed Whipped Cream

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Lemon Icebox Pie With Honeyed WHipped Cream 2-001

I know, I know, I just did a citrus pie. What can I say? I’m in a tangy frame of mind. Spring and Summer makes me want sweet tart desserts. Ok, so Fall and Winter make me want sweet tart desserts. So does Christmas. And Groundhog Day. And Thursdays. And…well, you get the point.

I’m not one of those weirdos who says that I would always choose lemon over chocolate, but I do love me a good lemony dessert. I come by that honestly if the love for it can be genetic. One of the only desserts I can recall my mother making was lemon meringue pie. She made an awesome one too.  Plus, my dad loved lemon meringue pie. Hmmm, wonder if there is a connection there. maybe my mom learned because my dad liked it? Or maybe my dad loved it because my mom made it? Who knows? I don’t have many memories of the two of them together so I guess it will remain a mystery.

My father would have loved this pie. It’s not lemon meringue but it has all the thing in it he (and I) loved; lemon, creaminess, whipped cream… ok, so my dad would have loved it because it had sugar lol. I’ve said it before- he was a diabetic with an insatiable sweet tooth.

I originally saw this recipe on The Galley Gourmet. Her blog is one of my absolute favorites and one I aspire to be like though I doubt it will ever happen with my lack of photography skills hehe. When I checked out the cookbook she mentioned in her post, I immediately went to Amazon to check it out and ten minutes later, I was 10 bucks poorer. But it’s definitely worth it. The book (Dam Good Sweet) has quite a few tempting recipes in it that I’ll be trying. Being me however, i had to change it up a little. Mind you, it was very very little. All I did was add some vanilla to it because I adore the combo of lemon and vanilla and I made a honeyed whipped cream for the top of it because who can resist the classic pairing of honey and lemon. I was tickled with the results of that idea. The honey whipped cream goes so well with the lemon flavor. I also didn’t freeze it, just chilled it because I’m not big on frozen pies. Anddddd, I used a premade graham cracker crust but I will post the recipe for the crust in the book. Feel free to do it either way. It worked just fine in the premade if you’re feeling as lazy as I was. So go see if you have any sweetened condensed milk and go buy the prettiest lemons you can find. This pie is delicious!

Note- this takes a lot of egg yolks so plan on making some egg white omelets for dinner that night or some meringue cookies the next day. Just store the whites in a covered container. They will last about 3 days.

Lemon Icebox Pie With Honeyed Whipped Cream

  • crust-
  • Premade graham cracker crust OR
  • 14 whole graham crackers
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 6 tablespoons butter, melted
  • Filling-
  • 2 cans sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 1/4 cups strained lemon juice (will take about 5 to 6 lemons)
  • 8 egg yolks
  • zest from 2 lemons
  • Honeyed whipped cream-
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1/4 to 1/3 cup honey (depends on how sweet you want it. I prefer it only mildly sweet because the pie is pretty sweet on it’s own)
  1. To make the crust-
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Break the graham crackers up into small pieces and place in the bowl of a food processor with the sugar and pulse until they are fine crumbs.
  3. Pour in the melted butter and pulse a few times, until the mixture holds together if squeezed.
  4. Transfer the mixture to a 9 inch springform pan and press onto the bottom and about an inch up the sides of the pan. Set aside.
  5. Whisk the condensed milk with the lemon juice. In another bowl, whisk the lemon zest with the egg yolks for about a minute or so. Pour the lemon juice mixture into the egg mixture and mix well.
  6. Place the pan on a rimmed baking sheet and pour the mixture into the crust. Place into the oven and bake for about 25 minutes or until the center is jiggly, rather like a soft set custard. Remove from the oven and let cool for an hour on a wire rack.  Loosely cover with plastic wrap and either chill or freeze for at least six hours.
  7. When ready to serve, make your cream. In a medium bowl, combine the heavy cream and the honey. Start with the 1/4 cup honey if you’re not sure how sweet you want it. You can taste midway through beating and see if you want more. Beat until soft peaks form. Either cover the pie with the cream or serve on the side. Or just take the whole bowl in a closet and eat it. I won’t judge.
Lemon Icebox Pie With Honeyed Whipped Cream

Lemon Icebox Pie With Honeyed Whipped Cream

 

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Warning. This Is NOT Diet Food :-D

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Lemony White Chocolate Cheesecake

You’ve been warned. As a matter of fact, I warned you when I came back to the blog that yes, I would be sharing some lower calorie/lower fat dishes (preferably dessert hehe) but that I would still be…well… ME and would continue sharing the type of goodies that make you have to get your fat girl (or fat boy as the case may be… and while I’m thinking of it, how come it seemed ok to say “fat GIRL” instead of woman but I had to stay an urge to write “fat MAN”? What’s up with that backwards “I must have been born in 1825” sort of thinking?) pants and make you sob uncontrollably when you get on the scale. Why? Because I enjoy torturing you. Heck, who am I kidding. I’M the one who has most of a creamy delicious cheesecake taunting me here. I suppose just burying my face in it and inhaling would be strange huh?

I think we all know by now that I love anything lemon. I don’t care if typically, it’s considered a Summer food and all the cuter, prettier and more popular bloggers *grins* have moved on to all pumpkin/maple/apple/cinnamon/elephant/cranberry/squash/turkey recipes. I’m a rebel! A rebel I say! Or I was just in the mood for lemon. Whatever. But really; I like lemon. Lots. I like These Lemon Crumb Bars , I like This Lemon Curd. A LOT., I like These yummy cookies and I also absolutely LOVE cheesecake as shown here . So give me a chance to combine the two and I’m one happy woman (notice I said woman and not girl :-p ) It uses white chocolate which my friend Bel says isn’t really chocolate at all, but that’s ok; I love her anyway. She loves pumpkin as much as I do so she can’t be ALL bad. White chocolate not being a flavor that shouts itself from the rooftop, it adds more of a creaminess and vanilla flavor to this rather than a pronounced in your face chocolate flavor. But creamy is never a bad thing. I like creamy. And lemon. And white chocolate. So yup, I like this cheesecake. Too much. Please come take it from me before I have to go back to my fat girl pants. Better yet, make it yourself, have no self control, eat far too much and then tell me about it so I can feel better. Misery loves company and all that rot.

This originally comes from Taste Of Home. I didn’t change much at all. I gave it a graham cracker crust cause I was feeling lazy and I added a touch more lemon juice. Otherwise, all Taste Of Home here.

Lemony White Chocolate Cheesecake

  • CRUST-
  • 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup butter, melted
  • FILLING-
  • 4 8 ounce packages cream cheese, softened (could use low fat, but I wouldn’t recommend fat free)
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar
  • 10 ounces white chocolate, melted and cooled (please don’t use “white baking chips”. It’s fine in cookies but you really need to use higher quality white chocolate when using it melted)
  • 2 tablespoons flour
  • 2 tablespoons heavy cream (could use evaporated milk instead)
  • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  • zest from one lemon (about 1 tablespoon)
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 4 eggs, lightly beaten
  • about 2 cups boiling water to put in oven for steam
  1. Combine crust ingredients and press into the bottom of a 9 inch springform pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes.
  2. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, beat together the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add in the rest of the filling ingredients except for the eggs. Beat until combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl a couple of times. Don’t add the boiling water please 😛
  3. Add the eggs, then beat on low speed just until combined. Remember, I’ve said it before, unless specifically instructed, you never want to overbeat a cheesecake batter. It adds air to the mix which can cause those unsightly cracks on top.
  4. Pour the batter into the crust.
  5. Put a pan (I just use a cake pan) into the bottom rack of the oven. Carefully pour the boiling water into it.
  6. Put the cheesecake into the oven, middle rack. Bake at 325 for anywhere from 65 to 85 minutes. Mine took about 80 minutes. The sides should be set but the center of the cheesecake should still be jiggly.
  7. Cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes, then unlatch the side of the pan and let it cool completely. Refrigerate at least 4 hours before cutting and to get good cuts, use a sharp knife dipped in very hot water.
  8. Serve with whipped cream and lemon peel garnish. Or just bury your face in it and inhale.


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Booberry! No, Lemon! No, Booberry! No, Lemon! MOMMA!!!!

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Blueberry Lemon Yogurt Cake

This is what you hear when you ask your kids what kind of quick bread or pound cake you should make today. Our “boo” (Joshie to the uninitiated) wanted “booberry”). On a side note, my husband started calling Josh Boo when he was but a wee infant and the nick name just kind of stuck. Now he is Boo to practically everyone. We have half joked that when he gets to school age and the teacher asks his name, his response will be “Boo Aaron Brand!” and on his wedding day, the pastor will be asking his bride if she takes “Boo” to be her husband. Yes, we’re a strange strange family. I somehow doubt this comes as much of a surprise.

Moving on… Boo wanted “booberry cake”, Jordan (Zach was still asleep…at noon. Ahhh, the life of a teen on Summer vacation from school) wanted lemon. So what was a mother to do? I did NOT want to make one of each… too expensive and results in too much in the way of sweets in the house. Nor did I want to disappoint either boy.

So I remembered the recipe I had recently printed out for Ina Gartens Lemon Yogurt Cake. I’ve said before and I’m sure I’ll say again; you can never go wrong with Ina’s recipes. The woman is a cooking goddess. I have another one…or maybe two… might be three… of her recipes waiting to try after payday. With this recipe, I decided I could make both boys happy. I simply made the cake as written but adding about 2 cups of blueberries to the batter just before pouring it into the pan. On a side note, you ever make something while thinking to yourself what a cooking goddess/god YOU are only to find out after the fact that 350,000 have done the almost exact same thing before you did? Rather disheartening to ones cooking goddess dreams isn’t it? It’s like this big “well crap, I invented this darn it! I did, I did, I didddddd!!!” Sorry. I’m done now. 😛 Continue reading →

You Know Me And Lemon

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Rustic Lemon Lavender Cornmeal Pound Cake

If I don’t eat something lemony at least seventeen times a once a week, I go into withdrawals.  I love chocolate… and Twinkies… and Cheetos…and Twinkies stuffed with Cheetos…and Cheetos stuffed with Twinkies (sorry. I’ll stop now.) but sometimes I just have to have that kick from lemon. Mind you, unlike my 15 year old son, I do NOT suck on lemon halves *shudders at the thought*. And while I actually like the new Lemon Twinkies (c’mon, did you really think I’d let those pass by without a try?) even I have to say that they can’t compare to home made treats.

I mentioned in the last lemon post I made…erhm, which was one of my last posts actually. Is this a sign of a rut? Nahhhhh.

Moving on. I mentioned in the last post that lemon has always seemed a good Spring flavor to me. It also works for Easter which would be a good excuse to make the recipe I’m sharing today.

I wanted to make a pound cake. I wanted lemon. But all the lemon pound cake recipes sounded boring. So… say it with me, regular readers… I played with a recipe. Like most cooks, I love Cooks Illustrated recipes. But today, I was antsy and even their stuff seemed boring to me. Heresy, I know. That’s like saying Martha Stewart doesn’t look good in an orange jumpsuit or Sandra Lee is a tee totaler. So I took one of their pound cake recipes and made it mine. Mine I say!!! Buahahahahaaaaaaa. Then just to add insult to injury, when I was done making it and glazing it, I covered it in Easter sprinkles. Why? Just cause I’m that kind of a gal. Continue reading →

Who’s Ready For Spring?

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Not me. I want 5 feet of snow and a blizzard that buries our house!

Ok, ok, that’s not true. As much as I enjoy Winter, I’m ready for warmer weather. NOT the boiling hot “omg, my face is melting” hot that Summer brings here in Kentucky, but the warmth of Spring. Mind you, warm here can mean high 80’s unfortunately (we had had strange Summer like weather here the last few days; even had to use the a/c) but that’s neither here nor there.

I love the gentle breezes of Spring, the smell in the air, the blooming trees and flowers and the crickets and frogs singing to me.

Ok, enough waxing poetic. Let’s get to the food!

I also love the foods that come in Spring; the wonderfully fresh asparagus and spinach, the new berries that can’t be matched  by the hothouse ones or imported ones any other time of year. Plus the colors! All the foods are so bright and cheery looking to match the season. Well, except for liver… it’s nasty no matter what season it is. And Cheetos are bright and cheery even in the middle of Winter. Just sayin’.

One thing that most everyone uses more of in Spring is Lemon. I’m no exception. I love it no matter when or where but it adds a special brightness to already fantastic food in Spring. I use it on top of veggies, in compound butters for fish and chicken and of course in baked goods. This is ME, after all.

One thing I make every Christmas is thumbprint cookies. I was craving some today. But the normal ones, filled with jam, seem only fitting for Christmas. I’m not sure why, they just do. So I played around. That seems to be one of my usual sentences doesn’t it? Lol.

I made a normal thumbprint cookie with some minor variations but messed with the filling. I decided to go with lemon and white chocolate. Both seem Springy to me. I used
This recipe here

for the lemon curd recipe. It’s the one I always use for curd and always have some of in the fridge. For the white chocolate, I used some of the new

Philly White Chocolate Spread . I’m madly in love with that stuff. All three of the flavors are awesome.

These turned out great. Very Springish (yes, that too is now a word) and they would be perfect for an Easter buffet or brunch or after school snacks or dessert or swiped from the fridge late at night or dinner or as a reward for breathing in and out. So c’mon… go make some lemon curd and get to work.

Lemon White Chocolate Cheesecake Thumbprints

  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon butter flavoring (optional)
  • 1 tablespoon lemon zest
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1 1/2 cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 to 3/4 cup lemon curd
  • 1/2 cup Philadelphia White Chocolate Cream Cheese Spread
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease two cookie sheets.
  2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar.
  3. Add in the egg, lemon juice & extracts. Beat well.
  4. In a small bowl, combine the dry ingredients, including the lemon zest. Mix well.
  5.  Dump the dry ingredients into the wet. Using a wooden spoon, mix well.
  6. Shape into about 1 inch balls and place on greased cookie sheets. Use your fingers or the handle of a wooden spoon to make a nice indentation in the cookies.
  7. Bake at 350 for about 9 minutes or until the edges of the cookies are light brown.
  8. Cool completely on wire rack. Do NOT attempt to add fillings until cool or they will melt and run off.
  9. Add a small dollop of the white chocolate cream cheese to each cookie, then top with another small dollop (about 1/2 teaspoon or so) of the lemon curd.
  10. Dust with powdered sugar. Store these in the fridge due to the cream cheese. That’s assuming there are any left to store.

 


There’s A Reason I Do Certain Things

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Triple Berry Muffins

Like using muffin/cupcakes liners when making those baked goodies. Muffin pans hate me. They really do. It’s a vast right wing conspiracy! I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!

Sorry; I was channeling the Clintons. But really… muffin pans hate me. It never fails. I make a tasty batter… I spoon into HEAVILY greased pans… they come out looking completely beautiful.

Then they stick. Did I mention that muffin pans hate me? They are evil sentient life forms that delight in my agony.

Muffin pan liners however are wonderful angelic sentient life forms that make my muffins come out easily and not in 37 pieces (we ate all those straight from the pan or as piles of muffin mush in bowls… still tasted great lol). Yes, I know that sometimes the sight of a whole muffin with no liners is prettier but muffin pans hate me. I’m not sure if I mentioned that yet.

So I bet you’re wondering what the recipe will be today right? Don’t stop now; click here!

Barking Up The RIGHT Tree

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I have a bone to pick with a few of you. Why you ask? Because if I get fat, it’s your fault. Yep; YOU and YOU and
YOU and
Even YOU .

All. Your. Fault.

You got me craving bark of some sort… any sort. If I could put the word bark in it, I’ve been craving it. Ok, maybe not tree bark. Or liver bark. Or a bark that’s worse than it’s bite. I don’t want anything that has the word worse in it. I’ll pass on all of those.

So what did I do today? I made two different kinds of bark. Chances are I will not be able to resist them because they are so damn good and I will need to get more fat girl pants.

And it’s your fault.

Aren’t you ashamed?

So, since I know you’re horribly ashamed of yourself, you need to make one or both of these and get fat with me. Then we can go out shopping together for fat girl pants and maybe stop and get some mall food. We all know how healthy THAT is.

Lemon Vanilla Bean Bark

I made this one because I absolutely LOVE anything lemon. My kids will be lucky to get any of this kind.

  • 2 bags (11 to 12 ounces) white chocolate chips
  • 1 vanilla bean
  • 1 bag Brachs Lemon Drops, crushed (put them in a ziploc bag and go at them with a meat tenderizer or a hammer)
  • 1 tablespoon solid shortening
  • 1 teaspoon lemon extract or 1/4 teaspoon lemon oil
  1. Slice your vanilla bean in half and scrape out the seeds (don’t throw out the bean. Put it in your sugar bowl and in a few days, you’ll have delicious vanilla sugar) and put them in a large bowl with the white chocolate chips.
  2. Melt the chips and the shortening in the microwave. Use one minute increments, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted and liquidy. Don’t over cook it or you’ll end up with a hard lump. Believe me; I’ve done that many times in the past. It’s extremely annoying to put it mildly.
  3. Working quickly, stir the crushed lemon drops and the lemon extract into the chocolate
  4. Plop the mixture onto a foil lined, parchment lined or VERY lightly greased baking sheet and spread it out.
  5. Put in a cold place (I put mine on my front porch) until it is hard. Break it into pieces and eat enough to need fat girl pants. If there is any left, store it in a cool place (front porches work great) in a ziploc type bag.

Rum Raisin Bark

I made THIS one because my favorite candy bar is one I can not find ANYWHERE *sobs*. It is a German one that I got addicted to when I lived in Germany. Many of you probably know of Ritter Sport bars. They can be found at a lot of large grocery stores. The problem is that they don’t seem to ever have the Rum, Trauben, Nuss one and I love it. It is a rum raisin chocolate with nuts. I omitted the nuts because I just wasn’t in the mood but you could probably add about 1/2 cup of chopped hazelnuts to this.

  • 1 12 ounce bag milk chocolate chips
  • 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips
  • 3 tablespoons solid shortening
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons rum extract
  1. In a large bowl, melt your chips and shortening in the microwave. Melt at one minute increments, stirring after each minute, until the chocolate is melted.
  2. Working quickly stir in the raisins and the rum extract.
  3. Spread on a foil lined, parchment lined or lightly greased baking sheet.
  4. Put in a cool place to harden then break into pieces.
  5. Eat a lot. Go get those fat girl pants. Sob. Eat more for comfort and get involved in a vicious cycle that only a woman could do.

Something Smells Fowl

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I think that like most people do anymore, we eat a lot of chicken. I mean, unless you’re wealthy and also completely unconcerned about your arteries turning into cement, you can’t afford much besides chicken and also don’t want THAT much of the excess fat and calories that go along with most types of red meat. Mind you, if it wouldn’t kill me and we won the lottery, I would eat a medium rare ribeye or a juicy lamb chop every single night… then gnaw on the bones and burp loudly for good measure.

But until that lottery win happens and I can hire an in house cardiologist, we eat chicken. Lots and lots of chicken. Until I feel like I am growing feathers and want to say “Cluck you, chicken!”

So I keep looking for new ways to prepare it. Especially ways to prepare the dark meat because as much as I love the boneless skinless breasts, it takes a 3 pound bag to feed my husband, two teenage boys, a three year old who loves his “chickies” and myself…assuming they leave me any. So I sneak dark meat in there, listen to my husband gripe as he eats it, gnaws at the bone and burps loudly for good measure.

The other day when I made the lemon marmalade, I already knew we were having chicken thighs for dinner. I had no idea what to do with them until I ended up with about 3/4 of a cup extra marmalade. See, you can’t can less than full jars when canning because that leaves room for air thus creating a great breeding environment for bacteria. I shudder when I come across photos of things people have canned that have WAY too much head space. But that’s another subject…

So I saw the extra marmalade when I was putting the chicken in a baking pan, still not sure what I was going to do. My mind went into “Hmmmmm” mode (it does this often…usually with frightening results) so I played. Not with the chicken you sickos! Though come to think of it, there WAS the time I danced with a whole chicken across the kitchen. But he liked it! I swear! It was consensual!

What I came up with was pretty darn tasty if I do say so myself. My dark meat hating husband ate two LARGE thighs himself as well as both Zach and Jordan eating two and Joshie polishing off one by himself. They had a beautifully browned crisp skin due to the caramelizing of the sugar in the marmalade. The flavor was sweet, salty, buttery… plain old delicious. And this was so simple. Just toss the chicken in the pan, throw some spices, pour on the sauce and cook.

Buttery Lemon Marmalade & Soy Chicken

  • 3 pounds bone in, skin on chicken thighs (I would NOT use boneless skinless meat in this. You would end up with overcooked meat before it browned or cooked meat with no crispness, depending on how long you cooked it.)
  • 6 tablespoons butter
  • 1/2 cup soy sauce
  • 3/4 cup lemon marmalade (I’m sure it would work fine with orange marmalade too)
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • garlic powder
  • onion powder
  1. Preheat oven to 350. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil…. unless you LIKE cleaning sticky pans. Then feel free to not line it 😛
  2. Put the chicken pieces in the pan and sprinkle with garlic powder and onion powder.
  3. In a large measuring cup, microwave the butter, soy sauce, lemon juice and marmalade until the butter is melted. Stir well to combine.
  4. Pour butter mixture over the chicken pieces, making sure to spoon some on any skin that doesn’t get any. Scoop all the pieces of peel out of the measuring cup and throw those on there too 😛
  5. Bake at 350 until chicken reaches an internal temp of 165 or until when you poke it with a knife, the juices are clear.
  6. I served this with Spanish rice. Next time I will be serving it with plain rice because the sauce is beyond delicious!