These are thick & fudgy & oh so chewy with frosting that isn't too sweet. Oh my....

But it’s a funny story and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I am not in possession of working brain cells today and I couldn’t think of a story that would segue into Malted Milk Ball Brownies easily 😛 .

I wrote this years back. Yes… it’s true 😀

Who needs fillings? I have glue!

Last night I was, well, rather buzzed. Ok ok I was pretty well blitzed. Well, I have some herbal supplement drops I take every day. At about 9pm, I drunkenly realized I hadn’t taken then yet. In a fit of alcohol induced responsibility to my body, I went to go take them.

Just like most people, I can walk through my home in the dark with no problem. I know the path; I do it often. So when I went to get the drops out of my purse, I didn’t bother with a light. I grabbed my purse off the bathroom floor and got the drops out by feel. Or so I thought. I shook the bottle feeling like such a good girl that I was remembering to take them, hiccuped a few times, then experimentally shook the bottle. Then shook it again because I was SURE I had had more than that in there.

But, being the drunken fool that I was, I just assumed I had used more than I thought so I opened the bottle and tipped it up over my mouth. Not much was coming out so I squeezed harder… then harder. Suddenly some spark ignited in a few sober cells in my brain and I turned on the light and looked at the bottle. I had just squirted a half a bottle of Nail Glue (Super Glue) in my mouth.

“OMG… ACKKKKK… I’m gonna glue my tongue to my teeth!!!”, I screamed as I turned the water as hot as it would go after flinging the culprit glue behind me. I started gulping hot water trying to dissolve the glue before it glued my wiggly thingy in my throat to my tongue or something. Yes, I know it’s called a Uvula but wiggly thingy is more fun. I grabbed my toothbrush and practically killed myself trying to brush my Esophagus and stomach lining. Screw my glue coated teeth. I had visions of my throat sticking to itself and dying on my bathroom floor with my uvula stuck to my tongue. I had no intention of the legacy I left my kids being a headline on the 11 o clock news saying “A local woman died tonight after she drank super glue and her wiggly thingy got attached to her esophagus and she choked to death.”

After I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to die of glue poisoning or a glued throat, I started laughing. Only in MY life could this happen. Never again will I look for ANYTHING when I’m buzzed.

My teeth feel funny. How do you get super glue off your teeth???

On that note, today I made brownies for you. Not just any brownies though; these are stuffed with chocolate chips and many many chunky pieces of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. then to add insult to high blood sugar injury, I added a thick creamy malted milk buttercream and garnished it with more Whoppers. Now unless you have the sugar tolerance of say… a five year old (I.E. could eat a full five pound bag of sugar with no problem and ask for more) cut these small. They are rich… they are sweet… they are darned awesome if I do say so myself. Enjoy! 🙂 These are loosely adapted from a Cooks Illustrated brownie recipe.

Malted Milk Ball Brownies

With

A Malted Milk Butter Cream Frosting

• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3/4 cup chocolate flavored malted milk powder (find with the nestles quik and hot cocoa mixes and such)
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons boiling water
• 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
• 1/2 stick (1/4 cup) melted butter
• 2/3 cup oil
• 2 large eggs
• 2 egg yolks
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (am I the only one who calls it “all porpoise flour? Ummm…don’t answer that)
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 12 ounce bag semi sweet chocolate chips (use good quality ones)
• 2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely crushed (leave the chunks decent sized; you want to bite into the brownies and get some nice flavor from the chunks of candy :-)  )
• FOR THE FROSTING- (we’re making this easy {but still delicious} today)
• 1 can butter cream frosting
• 1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
• 2/3 cups malted milk powder
• malted milk balls for garnish

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Line a 13×9 inch pan with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
3. Whisk together the cocoa, malted milk powder and boiling water.
4. Add the unsweetened chocolate and whisk well until the chocolate is melted.
5. Whisk in the melted butter and oil then the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla. Whisk in the sugar. Stir in the flour and salt.
6. Fold in the chocolate chips and crushed malted milk balls.
7. Bake at 350 until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the middle (make sure you’re not hitting a chip) comes out mostly clean. A little bit of loose crumbs is fine but it’s not done if it comes out gooey and/or liquidy. They took 45 minutes in my oven.
8. For the frosting, mix all the frosting ingredients together and beat well for 2 to 3 minutes to make sure the malted milk powder is dissolved. this is a fairly thin frosting so if you want it thicker, make it while the brownies are cooking or cooling and refrigerate it to firm it up.
9. Frost brownies and garnish with more malted milk balls.

Not the fanciest decorating job but I had a two year old who wanted to do it 😀